A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm confused!!A few months ago I went on 3 or 4 dates with a guy I work with. We weren't friends before the dates but met at work. The first 2 dates we got on really well, he text all day and if I didn't reply within a few mins he would text again. He asked me if i'd told my family about him, sent me song lyrics about meeting the one, spoke to me like he really liked me, told his friends about me and said he wanted to lose weight(he's slightly overweight) and buy some new clothes. The 2nd and 3rd date we had a few disagreements and he told me he didn't think we were alike and that either he wasn't that fussed about me or i liked him too much. He said that he wanted to remain friends. Two months has passed now and we talk all the time, when we talk its like no one else is around, he comes into my office when i haven't seen him for a while, emails me asking to go to his office and see him, flirts like mad with me and clearly likes being around me. When he thinks he's upset me he calls and we talk for hrs on the phone. Everyone who knows us says that i was too good for him and had a lucky escape. He isn't by any means a player. This week when i was drunk i messaged him asking why he didn't like me when i liked him so much. he told me that he thought i was "alright" and if he didn't he wouldn't have done so much for me. We continued to message until this morning when i asked him if he thought he was leading me on and he replied by saying he didn't think he could make the fact that nothing will ever happen between us any clearer? I am really upset and confused?! I have made suggestions over the last few months that we should go our separate ways and he always says he wants to stay friends. His excuse for us not working out is always that I don't know him and he wishes that we had started out as friends. I had to work with him a few weeks ago and he was practically sitting on my knee he sat so close to me. Whenever i ask him about other girls he goes out of his way to explain that there is nothing happening with them. What should I do? Should I walk away?
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female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (18 August 2014):
 He is just using you to make him self feel good. You need to tell him to get lost and only contact you regarding work related matters that is if you have to work with him.
You need to move on or you will self destruct as you will be come an obsessive stalker and a dreamer.
The guy said he is not interested don't look for an excuse take it at face value and move on. I promise you once you start ignoring him and have a another guy in your life, this guy will be hot on your heals as people like that make themselves feel good at other peoples expense. Let go, move one. You will get over him. The sooner you accept reality the sooner you will move on. Delete his number and don't make any embarrassing stupid drunk calls. You are better than this and deserve a lost better.
A
female
reader, countryaly76  +, writes (17 August 2014):
Don't walk away!!! RUN. If this guy is telling you he isnt interested then don't waste your time. Sounds like you want him more than he wants you.
He sounds like this all started off because you made him feel good about himself, he has low self esteem. amd maybe some emotional issues. Cut your ties.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2014): Idont really understand but what else you can do. Do you want to become a stalker? Just leave at that, he told you he couldn't be clearer about his intentions.
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle +, writes (17 August 2014):
Yes, I think you should walk away. Or at least stop regarding him as a possible love interest.
He's stated quite clearly that he doesn't regard you as relationship material but he likes you enough to flirt with you. It passes time and makes people feel good about themselves...
If the flirting is making you uncomfortable or is confusing you, then put a stop to it. Don't go into his office just for a chat. If he stops by yours, just say you're busy. Don't engage in text banter. Delete his number (unless you really need it for work reasons) so you're not tempted to drunk text him again. Don't ask him about his personal life e.g. girlfriends. Change your seat or your position if he sits too close to you or ask him to move.
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