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The comments and attitudes of friends about us dating is really causing a strain on our relationship

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 October 2016) 3 Answers - (Newest, 5 October 2016)
A female Czech Republic age , anonymous writes:

My life is hell. I am an older woman in a mixed culture relationship of contrasting complexions and when I first met my current partner he made it clear that he was broke depressed and lonely.

We were so happy to have found each other at first but you would not believe the problems we have faced as a multicultural couple in this century although mainly not from outsiders.

For example doctors and nurses dont mind but they may be in a relationship of their own without prejudice.

The main objection is from so called friends who all have their own vocal opinion and feel offended that we have linked and lasted.

There is such a lot I could say but much is still private.

Sometimes we wonder why this is still an issue but the relationship isnt perfect.

We are no romeo and juliet. Just two people travelling stormy seas together.

There are times when I want to give up and my partner is not perfect either but for now we are still together and we sometimes still try to be happy but permanently I feel we are skating on thin ice.

Lately people have been saying that this kind of relationship cant last but so far it has!

I think people try to influence and scrutinise us more than others or perhaps we are just a stubborn mismatch that refuses to accept our limitations.

Im not sure I have the capacity to keep loving from this perspective.

View related questions: depressed

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (5 October 2016):

Ivyblue agony auntDo you take it upon yourself to interfere with their relationships, I assume no, so don't let them interfere with your happiness. Let them know that you want their support not their approval. Furthermore, let them know that the only problem you two have in the bad attitude of people supposed to be your friends and family. You can say what you want, how you say it is another thing, so I would not go in all guns blazing, If they feel you have made a mistake, then it's your mistake to make. You guys need to talk about how you intend to back each other up and what length you are prepared to go if push comes to shove. Best of luck I hope things work out for the best.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (5 October 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntSweetie this relationship is between you and him, not your family, not your friends, not your work colleagues, just the both off you.

I totally understand why you are strained and why you sometimes think the relationship is not perfect. But honey no relationship is perfect, romeo and juilet is a book not real life. We all face problems in our relationship, it is just worse when it is other people interfering. Ignore what people have to say. This is between you and your partner and nobody's business.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (5 October 2016):

chigirl agony auntPeople always comment of what is none of their business. You need to put them straight. They need to be told, point blank, that your relationship is for YOU, and not them, and that you are not interested in their opinion about it. Tell them you will ask if you want to hear their opinion, and if not asked they need to shut up. This stuff can wear anyone down. You're not weak if you let it get to you, this stuff will get to anyone eventually.

People just love to hate. It gives them something else to do besides having to look at their own miserable lives. Only people who are not happy with their own lives have this need to talk down others.

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