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The break up is fresh, how can I deal with the pain and when can I talk to her again?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 July 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 1 July 2009)
A male United States age 30-35, *rendan writes:

I loved her, we had so much in common..

I thought relationships that work are based on a commonality and similarities.. I guess not..

To be honest she was first 'real' love, someone i thought i could be with always.

I would love to have her back, but Im not counting on it.. and Im not going to try, because thatll only push her further away. Should I give 2 weeks before i text her or is that too short a period?

I feel like i should never have been so sensitive towards her.. I dont think I want to love like that again. I might just go with the ride, be carefree

I didnt cry surprisingly, then again i took zoloft (prozac in the States) and ive felt numb ever since she told me..

I want to cry, but i cant probably because of the pill.

And i just feel so bad, because the last couple times weve been together I made an effort, but it seemed not enough.. Maybe being friends will bring us closer together one day..

Ive often compared how I had so much in common with her and it only lasts 4 months, and then i compare to her sister who was going out with a guy for 6 and they had absolutely nothing in common..

And i still have thoughts in the back of my mind, what if these last couple months shes been tryin to get with someone else, and finally breaks it off at the start of the holidays..

She said theres no guy or anyone involved, she just wants to be alone, as weve both been dealing with issues that have affected this relationship.

What do I think of all this and how do I deal?

View related questions: period, text, the pill

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (1 July 2009):

TasteofIndia agony auntYAY! You posted this as a question, good job.

I like the advice you've gotten. See, everyone has been there and knows what is optimal... great advice given, I recommend you take it!!

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A female reader, anonymousperson908 Canada +, writes (1 July 2009):

my first relationship was tough for me too. the best thing you can do is just get over her. Try to stop thinking of all the good and try thinking of all the negative things about her u didnt like. also hit the gym, go to the movies, go to parties, anything to sidetrack you about the break up. And dont talk to her till u know your completely over her that way when you talk to her you wont miss her more. Another way to get over her is to start taking interests in other woman, go on small dates nothing serious though if you dont want to go through everything again.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009):

Shit,man. i've been there, it sucks. you need to break it off with her, get her off yoru mind. hang out with friends , do sports, whatever you need to do to get over her. it will be hard for awhile, but it will get better and you will heal and find a new girl who is even better for you. first love is the hardest to heal from, but you learn and you grow stronger. dont call her until your really over it. or else you just get hurt over and over again! you will think(even if in the back of your mind) that maybe youll get back together, but you wont. itll hurt just as bad, maybe even worse! so wait until your totaly over it and then let the friendship happen naturally. if it is ment to happen, it is ment to happen.

hugs not drugs!

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