A
female
age
30-35,
*idsummer
writes:My bf and I text throught the day and everuthing is fine but sometimes he disappears and doesnt txt me back in a long time, and when ge returns he said he went to do something. I dislike it a lot, because I think he should be courteous and if he knows where txting back abd forth, tell me that he is gonna go do something so I'm not there just waiting for him. He says he'll try bt still does the same thing. I always let him know when im gonna go do something and wont be on my phone for awhile.
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (11 April 2014):
 Definitely asking a little too much, though I do get what you are saying - if you are in the middle of a conversation you would like a little courtesy yourself so that you're not sitting there waiting BUT it is just a text and so you can pick up that conversation at any time and if that means hours later then so be it, something might come up that he (or you for that matter) needs to do and the phone is forgotten about for a bit but that doesn't mean he is being inconsiderate or rude or that he doesn't care, it just means that real life is happening and he'll get back to you later.
Try not to pressure him to tell you where he is going at any given moment, try not to think that every reply he'll give will come within moments of your last text, either! Just go with the flow and if he gets back to you right away then so be it, if he doesn't then so be that too - it is not a deal breaker!
If anything, I would think that texting LESS and having more to say in person later would be a better deal for the relationship so perhaps you might want to walk away from the phone once in a while, too :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2014): Not only are you asking too much, you're too demanding.
You are insecure, and have a text-addiction. He doesn't have to give you a fix every hour on the hour.
Keep pressuring, and he will stop altogether.
People are entitled to have time to themselves. They may have work or school, or just want "me-time." They don't have to respond to your constant-stream of unimportant messages.
Needy people need constant reassurance to make them feel good. This behavior becomes irritating over time, and pushes people further away.
People eventually run out of things to say, you become annoying, and he can get tired of silly little meaningless messages. Just because you're always craving attention or you're bored.
You have to wean yourself off your addiction. It shows how insecure and immature you are. It also appears as if you have nothing important to do with your time.
Allow him time to miss you. Stop keeping tabs on him all day.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (10 April 2014):
 Yes, I think you are asking too much and act kind of overbearing with him.
You are a typical product of this instant gratification generation, who puts WAY to much emphasis on constant communication even if the communication is utterly meaningless.
Don't "sit" around and WAIT for him to text you, continue to live YOUR life too, see friends, family, go about life and spend LESS tile texting and more time face to face with your BF OR CALL him and TALK.
Maybe I see it VERY differently because I'm ONE of the generations who dated BEFORE cell-phones/Internet. So there could GO hours or even a day to two when you didn't TALK/communicate with your BF/partner and that was OK. No one was instant access like they are today. You had ACTUAL conversations in person. You looked forward to spending time with that person. Relationships weren't REDUCED to KK, OMG TTY L8ER. ILY and the usual standard texting crap.
I would ADVICE ANYONE who hasn't grown up without a cell phone to take VACATIONS from the cell-phone. To have "normal" conversations and running errands without being attached to their cell phone, because NO ONE is so important that they NEED to be reached 24/7. And VERY VERY few conversations are actually so important that they HAVE to be carried on in public.
Calm down.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 April 2014):
 Yep think you are asking too much as well.
IF you have something VERY important that needs to be discussed ASAP then you can call him, but casual chitty chat texting does not require jack-rabbit responses.
Expecting someone (anyone) to be at your beck and call and to answer to you 24/7 seems a bit over the top for me.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2014): Put down your phone, stop texting all day and see the world around you.
This obsessive behavior is not going todo you any good In a long run.
What are you texting about ALL DAY to your boyfriend? What can you find new to say to him all day long?
I am glad he has a life besides texting you. .
...............................
A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (10 April 2014):
 Yep, I think you're asking too much as well.
Unless you're sending specific information such as 'running late. will be there in half an hour' texting is an informal means of communication for people who are too busy or not in the mood for a proper conversation. It is generally understood that you respond if and when you can and assume the other party will as well.
If you were actually talking on the phone and he just put down the receiver to get a drink or something without saying anything then that would be extremely rude.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2014): Yes you are asking too much. IMO this is a sign of either a controlling personality, or an insecure one. People get busy with work or meetings or driving or life or other people.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 April 2014):
 You are asking too much.
You are asking something slightly maniacal, IMO. Precisely because your text convo is daily and ongoing- when you don't hear from him right away, just presume that he remembered he has life with other tasks, interests and obligations than texting and he is attending to them, after which he'll get back to you. Or, if you really have to tell him something urgent or time - sensitive, just call him.
Your quandary has a simple solution : don't just sit there waiting for him. Get yourself something to do too, other than talking to your bf all day long.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2014): Yes, you're asking too much.
Sometimes things come up unexpectedly and you have to shoot off to do them and can't tell the person you're talking to that you'll be back soon. My ex got annoyed the same way you are and if I didn't answer within a certain amount of time he'd bombard me with messages, we argued constantly about it the more he pushed and eventually I snapped and broke up with him.
As much as you may like each other, you can't trap them and make them feel like they can't move without having to tell you. You'll ruin your relationship if you don't back off and give him time. It's too much.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2014): One simply cannot be glued to their mobile phone at all hours of the day. I would not take any offense if he was occupied with something else, such as work or school. If it is something that you really need to discuss with him, then simply call him.
...............................
|
