A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend always says that he wants me to be open and honest with him about everything no matter what it is. Especially if it has to do with another guy an he would do the sameBut the thing is, when Im open and honest with him he gets upset with me and Doesn't speak to me for days.Like I just started college and they had games and everything outside I went out there and I watched people play games with a new friend I made ( a female of course) and I got home around 11 and fell asleep. I told him about this and he got upset with me ( because it was kind of like a party).My ex called me and I barely said anything to him. I said stop calling me what you say is bs and hung up I told him about the phone call and he got upset with me again.If he tells me to be open and honest, why does he get mad? Should I continue to tell him even though he reacts the way he does.
View related questions:
ex called Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2013): This man is way more trouble than he's worth, and you're in college attempting to have fun and begin a new life.
I almost never jump on the "dump him" wagon, but here we go...
dump him. Go be a human being who isn't accountable to an asshole for her every breath.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2013): "I don't want him to think that I'm hiding anything. I know him, so if I never told him my ex called... he would assume that I'm talking to my ex behind his back all the time!"Pathological jealousy and suspicion is a HUGE red flag. As Ciar says, this isn't about trust, it's about control. You can be open and honest and trustworthy from now until doomsday but he will never stop thinking the worst or needing proof otherwise. Also guys who habitually suspect their girlfriends of cheating are usually cheaters themselves. And worse, those guys who fail to sufficiently control their girlfriends emotionally often resort to attempting to control them physically.Sorry, but this guy sounds like a time bomb and you need to get out of this relationship as quickly as possible. If your college has a student health or counseling center then please avail yourself to their services so you can make a clean, final, SAFE break from this loser.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 August 2013):
 sounds like you are now LDR... and it sounds like he can't cope with an independent woman.
also it does sound like he's a manipulative control freak.
I would tell him everything and I would add at the end "IF YOU REACT badly to this information, either LESS information will be forthcoming and/or you will be girlfriend shopping"
I don't hold out much hope for the long term health of this relationship.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2013): People say they can handle the truth but we rarely can.
...............................
A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (28 August 2013):
 He wants you to be honest with him, not to earn your trust, but to trick you into giving him greater control.
People like him are too high maintenance and not worth the time and effort.
...............................
A
female
reader, Thetruthisugly  +, writes (28 August 2013):
 We are all entitled to a bit of privacy...you don't need to report every move you make to your boyfriend. If you do you are giving him control of you and that's not healthy for any relationship!!
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (28 August 2013):
So he gets mad at you either way.... I think it may be time to make a decision about the future of this relationship.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI only told him because I don't want him to think that I'm hiding anything. I know him, so if I never told him my ex called... he would assume that I'm talking to my ex behind his back all the time!
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (28 August 2013):
Don't always believe everything people say... Next time this happens I'd remind him of what he said and tell him that if he wants honesty he needs to stop treating you in a way that discourages it.
At the same time there's no reason to tell him things like this. They seem pretty irrelevant to me.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2013): He sounds like a control freak. U were outside playing games!! How is that even a party? He is jealous. This will only get worse xxx
...............................
|
