A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am just not sure and feeling very anxious. i'm engaged to be married to my boyfriend in August. I live with him. We are both in our 40's. However I am happy just living together at the moment but he wants to get married,as he keeps saying I have never been married - however he has. We are bickering lots at the moment. However there are some good times. I don't want to hurt anyone but I just want to run away. I am really unsure about committing but we have already booked the hotel and the registrar. If I try and talk to him he starts shouting that I dont love him anymore. I am worried we cannot afford what we are planning yet all he says is we will get there. He works on and off. Please advise as I really am unsure at the moment.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2010): Don't marry him at least not yet. If you do, you will be regretting it right after and for a long time to come every time you have doubts it will be magnified.
It's cheaper to get married than to get divorced. so, only get married if you are very sure about it cos it's real hard to undo that decision later on if you want to.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (28 December 2010):
 I know what I would do...I would put the brakes on pretty damn swiftly.
He is pressurising you (as men do when they want something)but marriage is a serious step. He is practically saying 'Marry me or I will assume you don't love me anymore' and that is a precursor to splitting up...what a predicament.
As unsavory as it is, you have to do what is right for you and you need to be deadly serious when you tell him that you arn't sure. If the guy really loved you he would not be shouting and manipulating you into running down the aisle.
I say as I always do...Go with your gut feeling and if you need more time then despite what he wants...you should take it.
His work status is also bothering you and I am not surprised...there are way too many red flags here.
You definitely need more time.
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