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Sucking on breasts. Is that so enjoyable that it can be described as an act of love and deeply satisfying when between two adults in a relationship?

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Question - (22 February 2017) 21 Answers - (Newest, 28 February 2017)
A male Switzerland age 30-35, *omi00077 writes:

Dear Cupids

Having experienced the wonder of a female friend breastfeeding her child a question arose.

When a woman breastfeeds her child, it's a highly beneficial situation for both of them.

Not only in nourishing, but also for bonding, closeness, comfort and love. What about when you're older and the relationship is not mother child but two adults.

Even at my age, i love to suck at a woman's breast. i could do that for hours as i get all the benefits like a baby minus the nourishment.

How is it for women? Do you also enjoy when your Partner sucks on your breasts in that way?

What i'm asking for isn't the sexual aspect of foreplay.

I think it's much more than that. An act of true love?

View related questions: breasts, foreplay

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A female reader, Phoenix79 United States +, writes (28 February 2017):

All women are different when it comes to that...some men enjoy it a lot as well. Personally, I don't find it enjoyable at ALL. If I'm with a guy who really enjoys doing it, I'll allow it for a few brief moments for his pleasure but honestly, I don't like it at ALL. Hope this helps!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2017):

It is amazing, just not for long periods of a time all at once. So do it as much as you want but not too hard.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (24 February 2017):

So_Very_Confused agony auntThere is an old saying... it's not kinky if you use a feather..it's kinky if you use a chicken. It's all about degrees.

I like breast play with my adult partner but it's certainly not maternal in any way.

even with gentle sucking after a while it becomes annoying for me as a sexual activity while as a breastfeeding mom it was rarely an issue.

You asked the ages of my boys when they weaned.

They are 27 months apart.

I nursed the first one till he was 4 1/2

I nursed the second one till he was about 3 1/2

I had a new baby and a nursing toddler.

After about a year the nursing is more about emotional comfort than nutritional intake.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom + , writes (23 February 2017):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntIt was about if women would want sex-free hook ups or if women daydream about male virgins - either way, my comment still applies to it being a likely result of your upbringing, nudist or not.

Nothing inherently "wrong", just odd and not common.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2017):

I answered earlier anonymously. Yes, that's what some of us women might feel. In fact, I'd always been curious of how the men feel. So I googled it a couple of times. Men too, seemed to differ in their thoughts. Some spoke of feeling comforted, some spoke of being sexually aroused etc.

My ex bf did not seem to see it more than sexual. I never asked him if he did, as I didn't want him to get freaked out by how I looked at it. lol. That' the only relationship I'd had so I do not know first hand how other men behave wrt breasts.

As a woman, I would suggest to you that those of us who do feel maternal wrt breast suckling, we are essentially pampering the man like a baby in our head and expressing how much you would want to take care of the man but not considering them as a little boy.

To be honest, I have personally also had thoughts that are a bit more far fetched and a little embarrassing (LOL). Sometimes it crosses your mind while the man is suckling how you would nurture his baby if this sexual encounter led to making one! So for me and some other women the thoughts may revolve around maternal feelings.

I don't mind going another step further and sharing that unlike suckling, when a man is fondling or squeezing, it feels purely sexual. It kind of reinforces your womanhood I'd say.

However after the experiences I've had and seeing how men and the society takes advantage of women's maternal instincts, expecting them to put up with all kind of ill treatment, I have consciously learnt to compartmentalize the man woman relationship from that of a mother child completely (the breast suckling being an exception). Because, as a mother I may forgive my children's misbehaviors. I cannot be expected to do the same with a grown man who hurts me as he is not innocent like the child is.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (23 February 2017):

CindyCares agony auntNo, a kink is not necessarily something negative. As long as both partners agree .

Nevertheless, IMHO, a kink is... a kink. Not an " act of

true love ". And suckling a baby is waaay different, phisically, psychologically and culturally, from suckling a grown up man. Apples and oranges from many points of view.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom + , writes (23 February 2017):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntI never said a kink was bad, but sucking a breast is more like sucking a toe, than a baby breastfeeding.

I remember your posts about a woman wanting to hook up just for foreplay and not sex. Perhaps your family raising you as nudist has adapted your views. Sucking on a breast, as a grown adult, is sexual - not a bad thing, but not non-sexual. Only people who are into it as a kink will have an adult suck their breasts without having sex.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (23 February 2017):

Honeypie agony auntNo, OP having a kink isn't generally something negative. WE ALL have kinks.

The time when a "kink" IS something negative is when it's either not consensual, appropriate or healthy.

As for your kink, I think it's great IF your partner(s) love it too.

And I agree with SVC - a child on your boob is VERY different from a grown sexual partner suckling. For some, maybe ANYONE suckling them invokes some maternal feelings, but I don't think that is the norm. I think a PARTNER sucking is definitely mostly sexual. But it surely wouldn't be the same for all.

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A male reader, tomi00077 Switzerland +, writes (23 February 2017):

tomi00077 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

tomi00077 agony auntHi everybody

Thank you very much for your answers.

to clarify my point of view. By sucking for hours i don't mean that literally. I could do it for sure that long, but i see that might hurt a woman's breast. And i' wouldn't suck like a Hoover, but gently and with lots of love.

@honeypie: Well that depends on how you define a kink. That hasn't to be something negative in my opinion, does it?

@confused. Yes that's what i'm saying. Its different from nursing a baby. How long did you nurse your kids?

@anonymous. Thank you for that wonderful answer. I envy your husband so much.

@fish: I sorry to hear that? Could there be a link to the Kind of nipples a woman has (large vs small) that having them sucked is either wonderful or a pain?

@youcannotbeserious: I totally agree. How is it for you?

@Cindy: see above. Are kinks negatively annotated?

@ anonymous. Very interesting argument. Women may feel maternal and then men would feel like they are a Little boy again? Maybe. That would fit that i don't see gentle sucking on a womans breast automatically in a sexual context.

@andie: Again. why is a kink automatically negative. Is that i prefer chocolate to vanilla ice cream a kink? My mom was unfortunately not able to breastfeed me. (but) we are very close as Family and no, nothing incestuous.

@Campari: I agree

@andie. I agree with that it is different man vs. baby. But i don't agree about that it is purely sexual. That might be a cultural issue like nudity is sexual which, in my opinion and having been raised as Nudist, is not true.

@cindy: Yes it is erotic but it is so much more.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (23 February 2017):

CindyCares agony aunt anon female : yes, but generally our inborn maternal instinct is translated into different actions and behaviours according to variables like age / relationship / situation.

Generally an adult woman will manifest her maternal instinct toward adults by adopting protective, nurturing attitudes , - not necessarily by treating adult men as if they were actual babies. Nor ,by feeling an indiscriminate impulse to breastfeed anything that moves.

I think I was adequately maternal to my own child, that's why I used to change his nappies and wipe his ass without batting a lid, and without any feeling of disgust or adversion. But that does not mean that necessarily I would / should like to do the same to the adult males in my life .

Said that, there's no accounting for individual tastes, and more so in the field of sexual tastes and preferences.

So, if both parties enjoy suckling sessions , there's nothing wrong with it. But, make no mistakes, it's erotic , not inherently maternal, and it is not different from sucking ANY other body part for sensual gratification .

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom + , writes (23 February 2017):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntI'm very maternal, but not over my boyfriend sucking my breast.

You don't have to feel maternal over a man committing a sexual act (sucking your breast) to be a maternal woman. I'm a little maternal over my boyfriend, but not during sex.

You can show love during foreplay, but that doesn't make it non-sexual. Sucking a woman's breast at a random time, without leading up to sex, is a kink.

A baby breastfeeding is wildly different to a grown adult sucking on a breast. It can be loving for both, but it's a little creepy to equate a man sucking on a woman's breast to a mother feeding her child. There's a big difference.

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A female reader, Campari Milano United Kingdom +, writes (23 February 2017):

What you enjoy is between you and your partner. Just always be honest about what you like, and vice versa.

It'll work or it won't.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom + , writes (23 February 2017):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntOut of curiosity, what is/was your relationship like with your mother?

The reason I'm asking is that equating adults sucking on breasts to babies breastfeeding, saying the bond is the same, is a bit unusual and implies there's perhaps a part of your development that created this wonky view.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom + , writes (23 February 2017):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntA little bit for foreplay is often enjoyed by most (but not all) women - however, it is sexual. It's closer to sucking on toes than babies breastfeeding.

Babies breastfeeding is innocent, but grown adults sucking on breasts is not. It's sexual, at the very least, and a kink, at most.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2017):

Hi there!

i'm a bit taken aback by the answers given here. I can totally relate to what you are getting at! When a man is sucking on my breast I do feel as though I'm showing love, care and comfort to him.

According to me, maternal feelings can evoke in us women towards people and animals that are not really our children, it must be biological. Probably some women have consciously changed their approach towards men because of being hurt and taken advantage of their maternal instinct. I guess it differs based on the upbringing, sexual experiences and relationships a woman has had. Maybe it also depends on how her body is designed. After all, some women do not even want to become mother to a real baby. How could then all women be expected to feel the sort of maternal instinct towards a grown man?

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (23 February 2017):

CindyCares agony aunt...If a woman has got steel nipples and concrete breasts, I guess it can work :): Otherwise, what you describe sounds to me (...and to a Whole lot of other women ) exceedingly painful and irritating. Why, even the gentle sucking of a newborn may cause noticeable chafing and discomfort if it goes on too long- imagine having an adult man doing the same for HOURS ( *shudder*)-

But it all boils down to personal tastes , I guess. A man's ( woman's in this case )poison is another man's medicine...

As for being a supreme act of love or something,... no, it's a kink. I agree, not for the first time, with Honeypie. Having a suck.feast on nipples is not more loving or meaningful that doing the same to toes or earlobes or a body part whatsoever. It's just something that you enjoy particularly.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (23 February 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntSome men suck on women's nipples like they are trying to suck the last drops of a favourite drink out of the bottom of a long tube through a straw. Or tweak and pinch them like they are old radio knobs. Believe me when I tell you, that is NOT pleasant for most women. In fact, it is a complete turn off.

GENTLE sucking and licking and fondling CAN be pleasurable if the woman is in the right mood and IF she enjoys her breasts being played with. Some women don't. Communication is the key.

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A female reader, fishdish United States +, writes (23 February 2017):

fishdish agony auntThis is definitely something you'll get a spectrum of answers on. I personally categorize boob play for men's entertainment only, I get zero pleasure from it and actually get a weird sadness from the whole experience (no history of molestation or body shame, which is why I say my reaction is weird).

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2017):

I find it utterly satisfying when my man gives me a long one hour kiss. And I find it utterly satisfying when my man sucks my breasts and my nipples for an hour until I orgasm. These are not the only things we enjoy together.

You are absolutely right about how mutually satisfying it is.

Yet when I was breast feeding he treated me with reverence and would just sit and talk to me while I breastfed. I breast fed both my children for a year after they were born and I recommend breast feeding always. While I was breastfeeding he stepped back from fondling and sucking my breasts. He said it was as a mark of respect for the awesome job I was doing for our daughters.

But once I ceased breastfeeding he returned to celebrate what we both enjoyed previously and still enjoy today. We discovered how much we both enjoyed it when dating and continue to do so after years of happy satisfying marriage.

Not everyone feels the same. That's life. It does not make them right or wrong. Each to his or her own.

But on this question yes there are others who feel exactly the same way about breasts as you do, my husband and I included.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (22 February 2017):

So_Very_Confused agony auntAs a retired La Leche League Leader and a woman who practiced toddler led weaning (in that my boys were old enough to discuss nursing) I will tell you right now that it's totally different with a partner than a child.

IN addition, I would NOT find it pleasant to have a partner suckling long term.

Also the way an adult sucks is different than the way a baby does... totally different activities totally.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (22 February 2017):

Honeypie agony auntIs it an act of true love?

Personally, I don't think so. I think the term "true love" is not really sexual AT ALL. For me, true love is basically "unconditionally loving" - which... still has limits even if it's called unconditionally.

It's a kink, which is probably why you feel it's more than a sexual favor.

For you maybe? Each person has their OWN way of showing love for a partner. Maybe it's part of HOW you show love? Or lust? Desire?

I don't think I could stand to have my partner suckle me for hours. That just sounds.... painful and over the top. As a part of intimacy? Sure..(just not for hours).

Maybe IF your partner enjoys it as much as you do, ut's a good thing.

BUT.. YOU providing it doesn't mean you are providing a "service" of "true love" proportions.

If we changed it up and you loved to suck on toes... instead of boobs.. I'd say the same thing.

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