A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Not been with my ex boyfriend for about a year now (we were together over a year and a half) and my feelings are still there, his friends aren't the best and can be really horrible about me. When my ex boyfriend and I are by ourselves like in conversation at a party, we're fine, and can have a joke but I'm unsure if its flirty or not, its just when others are around where it is awkward. I'm pretty sure he has moved on, although, I dont think he's been with anyone since. There's a rumour that he wants to get with my friend of 12 years, but she's reasurred me nothing has happened. I'm also seeing a counceller as I find myself worrying constantly and it's got to the point where I'm crying every night. I used to talk to him about it, and that was one of the reasons we broke up (he blamed himself for it) We've almost got back together a couple of times and have met up without anyone else knowing, but we always decided against it. I also have been quite ill and have many issues, I feel like he's the only person I can talk to about it, even though I know I shouldn't. I just really miss him and I don't know what to do. Help please?? [Mod Note: Link to earlier post on the subjecthttp://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-ex-has-taken-a-shine-to-one.html]
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2016): to be honest i really disagree to the other anwer, you clearly still have a lot of feelings for this guy and that's okay, what you shouldn't do is stop him from being happy. Give yourself some distance from this group of people and ensure that you can find someone to talk to. Hope you get better and it's not too serious
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (21 March 2016):
 One thing your counselor should have kept reminding you off is that you can worry all you want, it won't MAKE it happen but it also won't STOP it from happening.
YOU CAN NOT control other people. You can't control what they say, do, think or feel. IT IS out of your hands.
If your BFF doesn't want to date your ex, then she won't. It's not like he is the only other dude in the world. But if she does... how would it affect you? In reality? Because you KNOW he doesn't want you back.
You are clinging on to your ex in a rather unhealthy manner. He is NOT the only person you can talk to. If he truly is, YOU need to find someone else to confide in.
Crying over the fact that you heard RUMORS he likes another girl, a YEAR after you two broke up, it's NOT healthy. It's a bit disturbing actually.
Your counselor, are you talking about your obsessive thoughts? Or what exactly are you trying to work through with your counselor?
You are in the 18-21 age group. YOU have your WHOLE life ahead of you and you spend it crying and pining after a guy who doesn't FEEL the same way about you. It's wasting time. That is what it is.
If you run in the same circles, maybe you need to pull back a little. GET a break from being around him. Spend time with people who are a positive influence, focus on stuff that isn't your ex or relationship oriented. Maybe.. you should try volunteer somewhere - do something GOOD for others. It might make you start to feel better about yourself.
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