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Still alone and still visiting prostitutes

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Question - (29 August 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 30 August 2010)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, *p0307 writes:

Well here we go..

I posted on here previously about a problem i had. So lets start form the beginning and hope someone can give me a little insight or advice.

Well before (and still) i felt very lonely (i was at uni a bout a year ago, never had a gf or many friends... Because of this I visited a prostitute.. it was a bad experience and always felt stupid and unsatisfied and up until this day have always felt this way. However this kept occurring again and again. It's been a year later and i still visit them ( and again feel bad and unsatisfied).

I stopped breifly when i went to holiday last month to Thailand.. Here i took part in a Muay thai camp for one month and loved it. Had a good routine of waking up - training- eating-napping- training again - eating and then sleeping. This whole month i never once visited a prostitute or even went to a bar (I dont drink, smoke, go clubbing, go to parties etc)

I dont have many friends and still feel I'll never find a gf as I dont know girls seem to like men who do the things i dont do as listed above like drinking smoking clubbing going to parties. I dont do this as i love fitness and the gym and have a goal with this.

Right now i just graduated (i hated university) and looking for a job do you think the boredom of me being home is making me do this? I think id prefer to work 9-5 then go to the gym and afterward chat online etc..

Oh before i went to thailand i went counseling which helped a bit but wasn't soo great but it soothed me. I just think I haven found happiness in my life yet as I hated uni dont have many friends dont have a girlfriend.. But the thing is I'm not prepared to give up on my fitness goals and dont think ill ever go to parties or clubs :S As i hate going out at night and like relaxing during this time ( like after my gym session)

Before i thought it was a self esteem issue but i dont think im bad looking ive been told in the gym i have a nice body. I just this think its because I hate all that social stuff :S as mentioned above and not prepared to give in to it with the people ive met :) Which Im happy about.

Dont know what else to add got quite a bit off my chest right now.

View related questions: clubbing, prostitute, self esteem, university

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A female reader, Oregongrl1 United States +, writes (30 August 2010):

You don't have to change who you are! maybe some of your ways? you seem to pull more torge prositutes because for one your lonely and they fill that void for the moment and 2 is because you love them and leave them and 3 they don't judge you just want your money. so you don't have to prove youself to them. you don't give yourself enough credit when you start liking who you are and stop trying to be someone else for someone else and just be you you will see and feel a difference in yourself. try to pull out the good things about you not the bad! and hey there are wonderful woman in churches they don't drink or smoke and maybe too! the scene would be good for you and spiritually rewarding just a thought. good luck 2 u.

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (30 August 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntAre there no women at the gym you frequent? I don't like guys who go out drinking, drugs, and clubbing..quite often they're man whores or a nicer term a ladies man. You sound shy, and maybe a little insecure (but who isn't?) There's other ways to meet women, the gym, in the grocery store/market, online(it's becoming more socially acceptable), on the street, at a restaurant, cafe, and through friends. Listen, you're not the only one not being able to get a girlfriend i have a best friend who's 24 that has had one but with the rest he falls into the friend zone, and another on here that thinks it could be his disability that scares off the ladies. You're the only one that can make you happy. I believe that there's someone out there for everyone..that when God made you he also made your soulmate at the same time, so you go through however long it takes in life searching for her and when you found her you know. Start getting chatty in the gym make a goal to talk to someone in the gym or talk to your friends that you do have and see if they know of any single ladies and could set you up on a blind date. If only I were a fairy godmother I could wave away all the guys' girl problems today.

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