A
female
age
30-35,
*ls2016
writes:Hiya.. I currently have been with my boyfriend for just over 4 years.. we are in a very happy relationship- no problems and we get on like a house on fire.. we are currently saving to buy our first house and are currently living together at his mums house - we have lived with his Mum for 3 years. It’s getting to the point now where we urgently need to move out! We are both saving money but it feels like we are going round in circles.. when we save, something comes up like car repairs etc. Or Christmas and we have to spend some! We pay his mum £300 a month each to live there which I think is way too much, realistically over half of the £300 we give each to his mum could go into savings. I’m 25 years old and he is 27 .. we are starting thinking about having A family but obviously need to buy our house first! My question is.. do you think it would be the best idea for me to move back in with my parents? I wouldn’t pay any rent there / any food or bills I could literally put all my wages into savings that way! I’m just scared that if I move back in with my parents it will make me and my boyfriend drift apart as we won’t be with each other everyday! My dad has mentioned about my boyfriend moving in with them (my parents) but I don’t think he likes the idea of that! His mum relies on the £600 we pay her every month as she only works part time after loosing her full time job! I just don’t know what to do.. any advice would be appreciated .. thank you x
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 December 2017):
 It is difficult to save money but you must remember that life does also get in the way and we do need money for other things these days. I mean car repairs are always going to come up and also Christmas happens every single year. what exactly does the £300 cover to stay there for the month? Does that include bills and food or is it only for the room? If you feel it is to much then yes move back home, but you should still consider giving your mother money towards bills, I mean you are 25 you should not expect to live at home for free and on top off that be fed and have all bills paid for you.
I do understand why your boyfriend is reluctant to move out if his mother needs that money. But nothing is stopping you move out and living apart should not damage the relationship as it is not exactly long distance am assuming. Talk to your boyfriend and tell him how you are feeling. But please remember if you and him where to rent your own place it would cost far more than £300 a month so maybe you need to start thinking off other options and not rely so much on your parents. Welcome to adult hood.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (25 November 2017):
 If your boyfriend's mother relies on the rent/board your and your boyfriend pay her to survive then it is no surprise to hear your boyfriend would be reluctant to move out of where he can support her to other accommodation.
If you believe your contribution to the money you pay is more about supporting her than covering your costs then eventually resentment on your part will be well ingrained. And this is understandable ... you don't have the same emotional connection to her as your boyfriend, and so you don't feel the same level of need to sustain his mother.
Personally I would advocate you moving back to your parents house, and only offer the invitation to your boyfriend once, tell him its open and then leave the ball in his court.
Not only will moving back give you an opportunity to rebuild your savings (in separate bank accounts) but will also give you both the chance to decide if your relationship is strong enough to over come living separately for a period of time.
I also feel you and he should sit down and discuss your saving strategy, work out a budget and determine how long you will both need to live at individual parents homes until you both have saved enough to move into your own.
Because your reason for staying at his mothers is the fear you and your boyfriend might drift apart if you move out I would say your relationship is in a bit of a rut .... a separation (with a time limit determined by the budget you and he devise) will either reignite the flame or let you know the relationship has actually run its course.
I wish you well
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