A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am in a relationship , with a wonderful man, he has a sensational personality, we are both 45years and have been together for a year , I could never understand why his partners leave him. I have found out why, he is a very wealthy man, but is extremely tight fisted, he would never share his pay together and although he likes being in a relationship and wants to carry on forever I am not sure what to do, I have not moved in together, because he is not willing to share our pays together and just contribute a measly bit of money towards the expenses, he thinks as a single man and this has been the story of his life..no woman has been able to change him. I have to pay my share of everything , if i cant afford it then I cant do it ..simple as that. I really dont want to lose him any advice?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for thatHe was brought up in a very rich but tight-fisted family and his first wife took him to the cleaners taking more than half his wealth . I have contemplated the sickness debate and basically if I was alone I would be in the same boat. The only only way i have thought about continuing this relationship , is for us to continue as friends living apart ...if we ever move in together then I would have to set the ground rules if he would not accept it , then I would not move in or vice versa. I really love his company it would be such a shame for me to have to lose him.
A
female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (14 April 2009):
 Isn't sharing an integral part of loving? Otherwise, you might as well just be room-mates or living with one with a sub-lease agreement.
I was wondering, is there any reason why he is so intent on keeping the money to himself? He appears to be very insecure actually. Do you know his family at all? Are they like him? Or has there been a history of somebody in his immediate family who was taken to the cleaners by their ex? Or, perhaps, his own childhood? (i.e. they were deprived of material things that can only be bought by money).
Material things are just that, material. Money is material, it can always be "recovered". Love, trust, friendship, cannot be bought with material things. It may [or may not] strengthen a love relationship or friendship, not replace it. He may think by going to dinner to expensive restaurant (overseas? with friends?) will "buy" him friends, but you and I know that it doesn't. Not true friends, anyway.
Just think, hypothetically speaking, if you had children with him. Worst case scenario: the child came out of your belly, so it is your responsibility to provide for it. He's just a sperm donor? And if you were ill [touch wood that this does not happen] while he is away for months, you'd have to pay for everything yourself? even if you contracted the illness from him?
Just some thoughts to ponder upon ...
Cat
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your reply, I love him more than anything ......I will give you an example of his stinginess ..he lived with his ex partner (not married ) for 5 years the last year he went away on a job which earned him a colossal amount of money , he never sent her one penny , but he admits that he lived the high life over there expensive restaurants good clothes ( while his poor girlfriend counted the pennies over here ) but he was faithful .......he even disconnected the internet when he left as he paid for that . It does make me think ................
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009): Hi
You say no woman has been able to change him.....do you really mean get money out of him?
So he's a tight git? some would call him careful.....what a shame to even think of ending such an otherwise great relationship over something so little as money.
Maybe his wealth is in his sensational personality?
via con dios.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (13 April 2009):
 I don't recommend that people combine their money together unless they are legally married. It gets really messy if there comes a break up. However if he makes more money than you do, I really think it's pretty stingy of him not treat you to dinners, trips etc... If he has allowed relationships to end over this it sure doesn't look like you are going to be able to change his way of thinking. It's up to you decide whether to stay or go, how much do you love him? Do you think it could lead to marriage?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes I honestly thnk I willnot be able to change him and just have to weigh up the pros and cons ...a vey hard descion i must admit thanks xxxxx
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A
female
reader, satindesire +, writes (13 April 2009):
 Unfortunately, men don't change when it comes to money.
If you honestly feel as though you can deal with this for the rest of your life, then go ahead and continue being with him. However, I can 100% guarantee you that any amount of you talking to him will change his attitude regarding money or your relationship status quo.
You need to take a long hard look at whether or not youw ant to stay with a man that does not want to commit to you or share with you. I personally would never be happy with someone who acted like that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI had thought of that.............thanks
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male
reader, jay12toes +, writes (13 April 2009):
 How long have you been with him? Maybe the other women in his life took advantage of him and his money, or maybe hes only interested in having a women in his life that can take care of herself.
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A
female
reader, XxDefineMexX +, writes (13 April 2009):
 Talk to him. If you plan on making it a long-term relationship or possibly getting married than he's going to have to grow up and learn to share.
Hope i Helped=]
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