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Stay with him in an open relationship until I meet other men, or stay single and just enjoy being a mom?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Faded love, Family, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 December 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 17 December 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, *azzie1 writes:

I have a little scenario that I'm wondering if I should move one for good but I feel like I dont want to have to start all over and get to know the person. I've been with this guy for over 4 long years hes been abusive in the past so far he hasn't been but I have a huge issue which is trust because he's cheated on me in the past. Therefore, were always arguing and I'm always accusing him when he doesn't answer my calls. It's driving me crazy and then he tells me that he's unhappy cuz he needs a girl who can trust him and that he feels he has to check with me on everything. He's been a great provider and been very good to my kids which aren't his. I am so scared of being alone cuz I"m very picky and I feel like I might be single for a while. How can I leave this guy for good and move on. I am very independent but he helps me out alot financially. Should I stay with him and have an open relationship until I meet MR. Right or just stay single and enjoy being a mom. Please help I need all the advice I can get. I would really appreciate it..

View related questions: cheated on me, move on

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A female reader, Not My Name Australia +, writes (17 December 2009):

Not My Name agony auntIf he is unhappy and wants a woman to trust him then he should have thought of that before showing himself to be untrustworthy.

However, What you are basically asking is if you should USE this guy for money and company when it suits you until someone more interesting comeas along. If you intend to cut him loose, then I think the right thing would be to stop wasting his time - time in which he could be finding someone else himself.

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A male reader, Athleticmind United States +, writes (17 December 2009):

Guys who are abusive, and who are unfaithful are almost always very, very self-centered. It's not about the romance, or about the relationship, or about you...it's all about them. And everytime you meet someone who is abusive there's always someone else who feels stuck in the relationship...that's why they don't break it off. They feel a need to have a relationship, albeit a bad one, and so they stay. But almost always, there are choices. I suggest you consider making the choice to dump this guy before he either is abusive with you again, or transmits some nasty STD to you that he got from one of his other female "friends." You are worth more that that! Stand up for what you really want, and plan on making the effort to find it!!

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