A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend used to take me out to eat every Saturday but he's been tight on money, because he's been trying to save up for a new car, and that was TOTALLY understandable.My boyfriend has to pay for all the groceries for the household, even though he doesn't have a good paying job. So there aren't a lot of groceries. He'll pick me up early in the morning, and we will spend the entire day together at his house.Of course, I'll have breakfast before I leave, but that certainly isn't gonna keep me full the entire day especially if he takes me home around 12 at night.When I'm at his house, he'll make himself a huge dinner, and eat it RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. He doesn't ask if I'm hungry, if I want some, or anything and I'm not the type of girl that just gets up and looks in someones fridge. I always want to be brave, and just say "I'm hungry." But I'm scared that... what if... he doesn't have anything in there? or that they don't have food? Or what if he makes me feel bad because he doesn't have anything.. you know?I don't have a job, because I'm a full time student, so it's really difficult to get a job and try to keep my average at school. It's not like I can just take him out every Saturday.What should I do? I get so hungry and cranky when I'm over there! I keep hinting around... like talking about foods, so maybe he'll get hungry and take me out... but then... he'll just get up and make his own food.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2009): Geez- what a muddled relationship! You're comfortable to call him your boyfriend when you're too shy to ask him to make enough food for two?? If this was a real issue for you for some unimaginable reason though, i don't see why there's no mid-way ground to just bring snacks with you rather than to "just take him out every Saturday." (It would of course be up to you whether you share your snacks with him as he's busy cooking lunch-for-one!)
But seriously how can you have reached any level of intimacy if you can't even tell him you're hungry??
I can't even imagine how this has gone on week upon week; from either perspective! Whatever do you see in a guy who is too rude to share lunch with you??
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2009): Ok, sometimes men can be thick and they never take our hints too well. Or maybe they just think that surely if a person is hungry, they'll say so. Don't be shy... if you're hungry, say you're hungry. If you had to use the bathroom, you wouldn't sit there dancing in your seat hoping he'll realize this and point you to the restroom. You'd say, "Where is your restroom?"Now, that said, I find it unimaginable that a person would prepare a meal in front of someone else and not offer them some. There've been times when I just didn't eat (if i knew I was low on food or whatever) if I had company and then waited until they left before eating. But to just make himself dinner and not offer it? That's just beyond rude to me. And I do understand why you don't ask... you're probably figuring if he's hungry, surely he must know that you are. But, it seems that your boyfriend, in addition to thick, is also rude.So, since he's too rude to not know that you don't let your company starve while yu make yourself a great big meal, then you need to stand up for yourself and say, "Ohhh, I'm hungry too. Could you make me some?"I can't imagine his parents brought him up so ill-mannered. My goodness.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2009): Um, I'm going to have to disagree that you can't afford to feed yourself. I am also a full time student, currently enrolled in 6 classes this semester, I have an internship here at the high school and i also have a job. Before you assume that I am just some over acheiver, there are alot of students doing the exact same thing as me. I think a part time job would suffice for paying for your meals. As for your boyfriend eating in front of you.....this relationship just sounds strange. Seriously, you're over there all day and he doesn't offer you food. He truly is clueless. Next time just tell him you have to leave because you are sooo hungry, see if that doesn't make him offer you dinner. If he doesn't or doesn't care, just leave, he obviously wouldn't be a very good boyfriend anyway.
Good Luck,
H
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, i only go over there on Saturdays Afternoon's, Hes busy on sundays and fridays. & he works fulltime also.
I would bring him to my house, but my house isn't very date-like. I have 8 people in my household, and thats including 3 little kids running around. We don't get our alone time like we do when we are at his house. The only problem is-i get hungry! & considering we only see eachother once every saturday...we try to spend an entire day together. Maybe till 10 in the morning, and he'll take me home around 12 at night.
Reply to the Army medic...
I can't even work weekends, considering i'm also at school fridays and saturdays. Why would a job want me, if the only free full day i can work, is on sundays?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2009): This is kind of funny. If I were your boyfriend and for some uncanny reason, oblivious to your growling tummy, I would hope that you, as my girlfriend would speak up. I'll hit myself, apologize and cook you up something.
A relationship = communication. If you just sit there, hoping a genie will pop out of the salt shaker and grant you food in your tummy, good luck on that fantasy. Otherwise, regardless of whether he isn't making enough or what, speak up.
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A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (28 February 2009):
 Well, the food at his house if for his family (assuming), so it would be rude for you to just scrounge around his kitchen. But, it is just as rude that he has you over during dinner time and doesn't include you in the meal.
Honestly though, nothing is forcing you to stay. Why can't you spend the day at your house or somewhere that you're comfortable to eat when you want? I'm just not quite understanding the dynamic of this relationship.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2009): That is a sticky sitution. Maybe when he makes himself dinner try saying "that looks good, can i have a bite?" or something to that effect.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (28 February 2009):
 Firstly tell him your hungry, if that doesn't work, bring some sandwiches with you when you visit him.
As for you not being able to get a job, I don't believe that for a minute, there are lots of working full time students, maybe if you worked weekends, you could afford to eat.
My wife was a full time student when I met her and she still insisted on paying her way even though I was in a very well paid job.
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