A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm starting to wonder if I might be gay.I've never fancied women, or wanted relationships with them. But I've always found them more of a turn on than men - ie if I was watching porn with a boyfriend, it would be lesbian porn that I would chose.Lately, I have found my sex drive has been low, and during sex I've had to fantasise about women to orgasm.It's freaking me out. I've always been attracted to men, wanted relationships with men...But it seems in bed I want/need a woman.
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lesbian, orgasm, porn, sex drive Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (30 April 2009):
It could well be that you are bi sexual.
I mean, you don't say whether you are sexually attracted to men. Are you just with your boyfriend because you like him as a friend and "having a boyfriend" is just what people do?
A lot of women find out their sexuality in later life, simply because it's easier for them to go with the flow and have a boyfriend.
Now the thing is that you don't have to be 100% Straight, 100% bi, or 100% gay.
So it could be that you are more straight than bi, or bi with a bit of straightness thrown in. EVERYONE is in the grey area in between.
Explore your mind.
At the moment you have a boyfriend so experimenting is going to be difficult. Unless he is one of those rare people who doesn't mind cheating with the same sex, you have to stay loyal for now.
Next time you are single though, hit the gay bars in your area, be honest that you are not looking for a relationship and get flirting.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, RaeMay  +, writes (30 April 2009):
 well im bi. and you maybe too. but for me... i wouldnt date a girl but i would do things with a girl. its just a turn on for me too. and dont feel bad. some people think that its a sin or whatever but you can help it.
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A
female
reader, BigHeartNLuvr +, writes (30 April 2009):
That's a good question. I have to be honest that I think many women may wonder this about themself when they see a woman's body naked versus a man's. Women have beautiful bodies and men not so much. Our breast our beautiful and their sac kinda sags. I love their penis though. I am very attracted to men, yet we as women have an attraction that men don't have.
I tend to wonder what your thoughts about sex are. While u grew up, what were u taught about sex or making love? Or what kind of examples did u have to see relationships with loving sexual relationships. Sometimes many people, especially women, are taught that sex is a bad thing. Then when we meet a guy we like, we are hot for them and decide wer'e ready for sex and we enjoy it at first. But later, it becomes a chore. It seems as if many of us have it ingrained in our unconcious that sex is bad, no matter how bad we fight that belief. So then when we have sex with someone we care a lot about, but it's not good and doesn't satisfy us because our heart isn't in it. We equate sex with it being bad. So the one we care about or love, we're not able to be bad with them "have sex" because it's okay. Sex has become only a thrill when it's bad. Well, u have possibly equated the "baddest" kind of sex as sex with another woman. Now, I can't say that u r or aren't a lesbian, but I would rather think that ur ideas of sex are messed up. I know mine are. Even though, I know what is right, deep in my mind, sex has always been bad. I realilze it shouldn't be. It's something I have to change the way I think.
I hope this has helped u. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, artistical_bumblebee +, writes (30 April 2009):
 then maybe your a lesi?
its not a shameful thing! just what you prefer and everyone is different rememeber that.
experiement i am gatherng you haven't had sex with women. fantasizing and actually doing it are totally different.
so go to a couple of gay clubs and get it out of your system.then you will know for sure.
if you realise your a lesbien cool. theres nothing wrong with that. if your straight cool.
to the people that know you it shouldn't matter because if they really care about you then they won't be bothered and love you anyway.
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