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Speed dating. I have two days to prepare - so tell me how I can make a woman want to make love to me in 6 minutes?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 June 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 28 June 2008)
A male United States age , anonymous writes:

Hey guys and gals.

I'm single recently divorced and looking at new dating options…ways to meet others. And there's a lot of new ways that involve internet dating...too many to mention.

But I was looking at this new thing called speed dating (new for me, anyway).

I got myself involved in this function in a few days and I am totally going in blind. Basically it's a social event where couples are matched and get to "date" each other for 6 minutes at a time. Everybody gets to rotate and switch tables, kind of like square dancing while sitting down.

I'm a little nervous and hesitant going in, but my question is this: as I directly posed in my headline… How can you make a woman want to make love to you in 6 minutes?

How can you make a good impression and get someone’s attention in 6 minutes (which I fully realize is longer than it takes to make a good impression)

If anyone out there has been in speed dating events what can you tell me to tip me off. What can I expect? Any good techniques, that don't involve being dishonest, that I can use?

What are good questions to ask in a quick dating thing like this? What are the wrongs things to do or say?

I want answers people! I got two days to prep for this.

View related questions: divorce, speed dating

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2008):

Congratulations, and thanks for the update. You went, You saw, You conquered... well good for you. That speed dating thing sounds really fun, and thanks to your experience I think more of us might take it up. Good luck with the new girl, I hope things work out, but if they don't, I'm sure you have the confidence to go and see and conquer again...... Take care of you, good luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hey Guys! My back! I went, I saw, I conquered...well sorta.

A few thoughts about the event... There are two things I can honestly say... For one, when you meet a person for the first time, initial attraction is instant...it takes seconds, not minutes. So in that sense six minutes is more than enough time to judge sexual attraction. Secondly, though, it takes more than six minutes to change your mind about your initial judgment. I would have preferred having longer conversations with each girl, even with the ones I wasn't too hot for at first....because as it turns out I was starting to warm to a few with some good conversation...and then you hear this bell telling you time is up! I mean what the hell...in the real world you continue the conversation and close the deal. But here we were sort of cut off, and barely knowing the others we were talking to. SO that element disappointed me.

In summary I did get to meet 8 women. None really hit me with what you might call the thunderbolt, but I think I connected with at least one of the women I met in that group. I'll see where it goes...

I did meet other women in the bar not even part of the event. And I did a get a phone number from a girl who's identity will be withheld to protect the innocent (she works there)...So the evening wasn’t a total loss.

But I will still say it was a fun and positive event, like being in a reality show in a way. I might do this again, but on the other hand I know I can do better on my own getting to meet women...for God's sake I know I can hold a girls attention for more than six minutes!

Thanks to everyone who responded to my question...it all helped, but in the long run I relied on just being honest nice and being myself. No shame in my game. I did not disappoint myself and get too nervous, I think I did ok and tried to keep it light, but when the chemistry isn’t there you can't force it.

Again thanks to all!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008):

I think all the same rules apply as regular dating, just the pressure-cooker is cranked up a little higher.

Don't fall into the habit of trying to "win" this thing, Just keep your eye on trying to find someone worth your trouble. Even short-term dating isn't any fun without chemistry and common interests.

So try to be more confident than average, but don't get outside the bounds of who you really are and what you really like in a woman.

And you're not trying to keep yourself a secret to them or anything, but DO NOT try to speed-dump your whole story out to every woman within the six minutes. If you tell too much, you've taken too much mystery out of yourself too fast. That kind of time limit isn't enough to do your life story much justice, so don't waste the telling of the whole story like that.

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A female reader, Minelisse Puerto Rico +, writes (22 June 2008):

Minelisse agony auntSix minutes might be just what you need to impress someone. Sufficient time to be funny, a little flirtatious, to let her know the kind of things you like and to let her tell you the things she like. I was definitely into my current partner at about 5 minutes into our first conversation... we really clicked. I would go with what dearkleja said... work on what you want from someone and work your questions through that.

If what you want is just sex as your title suggests, then maybe you can go about it as having fun and not directly to sex (if someone in less than 6 minutes told me he wanted sex, the speed dating would be over before the 6 minutes are over). Yet, instead of concentrating your questions in the future (what she wants out of life, philosophy, love and relationships -which are all very interesting-) you might want to try the near future (what's she doing over the summer, where she likes to go, what outdoor events she likes). These questions stick to having fun and a good time instead of this is my dream man! The just sex part can be handled with later if a real date occurs.

Good luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008):

I think it's called speed dating because you meet a lot of women in a short space of time. There is no advice on how to make a woman love you that we can give, because you'll be meeting so many women that odds are that you will meet somebody who likes you for who you are and her and you will click naturally. As I understand it, it's supposed to be a fun event. So turn back the clock, become a teenager again and go out there with the intention to be confident and have fun.

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A female reader, dearkelja United States +, writes (21 June 2008):

dearkelja agony auntKeep in mind that this speed dating thing is a two way street. The woman will be questioning herself too, wondering how to impress you. My advice to you is to be aware of what you are looking for and to reflect that in your questions. The key in attracting what you want is to know it yourself. Spend the next two days making the ole lists and then you can bounce your questions off of that.

Don't be nervous as the woman will be nervous too and she will take her lead from you. You don't want to get sloshed but maybe a small drink could calm you a bit. Don't say anything negative about your ex or your situation. Don't ask her about her past relationships. Asking about her work, family are fair game. I have a dog so when a guy asks about pets that's always an easy conversation and very neutral. At this point she shouldn't care what you drive or how much money you make, nor should you care about her situation. A lot of women hat it when the man tries to impress her with material things. You can talk about movies, books and hobbies.

The thing is you will meet a lot of women and some of them will not like you and you will not like some of them so the key here is do not take it personal. It's worth it to just be yourself and to remember to smile.

Can you post back after the event and let us know how it goes. Good luck!

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A male reader, coldmist182 United Kingdom +, writes (21 June 2008):

coldmist182 agony auntall i can say for this is, stay calm and relaxed when u enter the room, people can sense your tension.

-be funny

-be kind

-dont big yourself up

-ask about her lifestyle e.g. she likes the gym, you NOW like the gym too.

-never say anything to kill the conversation e.g. i just broke up with my wife of blonk years, woman dont want to know about past relationships just yet.

-always compliment and give little flirty remarks e.g. touch her hand before she leaves the table.

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