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Sometimes I think he likes me, sometimes I'm not so sure

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 June 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 9 June 2009)
A female Canada age 30-35, *optop197 writes:

There is this guy that I have a crush on. Sometimes I think he likes me and sometimes I'm not so sure. He is the brother of one of my friends on my soccer team. He is also my soccer coach’s son. At the end of this year I will be 17 and he will be 18. I saw him a while back when my soccer team and his soccer team were having a soccer practice together and I got a ridiculously strong "I like you" vibe from him.

Like he would sit beside me when every other time before this he would stand a little bit away except for the one time when there wasn't enough room so he walked up on the stage where, out of the corner of my eye, I could see him looking at me.

And before this, whenever I would say something, he would kinda ignore me or pretend that he hadn't heard me, but this time everything I said got a response of some sort, he would either answer me, comment on what I said or laugh or chuckle.

I added him on Facebook, and after doing so, I have noticed his behavior has changed back to kind of ignoring me and being pretty quiet whenever I'm around. Did I freak him out by adding him on Facebook?

When I went to his soccer game with his mom and sister recently, we looked at each other a couple of times, but I think that for the most part, we were both too shy to look at each other. He does this thing where he'll (rarely) say something to me, but not look at me when he says it and he says it quietly.Like he isn't sure if he really wants me to hear what he says. He basically did the ignoring/completely oblivious to the fact that I was around thing again, except I noticed him looking at me a few times. Mostly whenever I said something to someone. I just don't really know what to think anymore. I really like him, but we are both shy around people we don't know very well. He seems to be fine around most of the other girls on my soccer team. He jokes with them and talks to them once in a while. Do I simply completely repulse him? (just kidding... I think...) I know I'm totally over analyzing this but I don't want to screw up and make things awkward. I don't really have anyone else to talk to about this, which is why I am putting every little detail.

Anyway, sorry this was so long. Thanks. Let me know what you think!

I also happen to know that he doesn't have many friends, he graduated last year and doesn't go to school now, he basically does nothing all day, and he's never had a girlfriend. I know, i'm making him sound great. :-) But he is just as shy and... anti-social as I am.

View related questions: crush, facebook, never had a girlfriend, shy

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A female reader, moptop197 Canada +, writes (9 June 2009):

moptop197 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well, I have known him for five years now (that's how long I've been on his MOM's soccer team) so I didn't really see adding him on Facebook as desperate. I've had a crush on him for four of those years. Pathetic huh? :-)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009):

Yeah, he is a shy one, but it may have something to do with the fact that you are his sister's friend and that his dad is your coach. It may add a little pressure, as he sees it. He may have had a problem before with a girl, or some, that wanted to try to use his "influence" for them in some way, but were really not interested in him, personally. This can happen. My dad was a high school principal and I got that all the time in school. It can make you suspicious. Since he is graduated, it could change, but, he may be leaving soon. That is another factor. He may not want to start a close relationship with someone he is not going to be seeing often. Just some thoughts. I can't advise how to "break the ice" more. Just play it by ear, without being too obvious or forward.

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A female reader, mimisoph3 United States +, writes (9 June 2009):

mimisoph3 agony auntadding a guy really fast shows how desperate u are.u may not be but he might thing u are.if u ignore him and just kinda talk to him then u'll get his attention more if u keep acting desperate his gonna get freaked out and just ignore u trying to sign to u that he isnt intrested or he wants a break

his really shy and isnt sure about things.next time he has a game dont go..and when u see him dont talk to him unless he comes up to u.because that will give him a sign that ur over the desepration and tired of trying and if he likes u then he'll come up to u..oh the mean while i think u should do something on ur facebook page..u know when it says how u feel or hows ur mood write something that will catch his eye..like a little part of a song like goodbye by kristina debarge or something that involves that or say something like that..or something like man i just wish he wasnt this shy :/ to catch his eyes and keep him wondering if its about him..but dont start talking to him till u see the signs or him talking in a good way..ask ur friend if he talks about u..good luck if u have any more questions mail me

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