A
female
age
13-15,
anonymous
writes:I'm 15 and I have a baby, when I was 14 I was raped by my second cousin (my dads couisns son), he is 17 and at a new years party we were hanging out together, and we snuck some drink out to the park (its near my home) no one noticed we had gone, I had only had 1 can of larger and I was fine but he had about 6 cans so far and he was acting strange and he started kissing me and I told him too stop but he wouldn't, he pinned me down and I couldn't move away but he is strong and I couldn't move and I tried to scream but nothing came out and my body went numb.and he you know.i feel sick writing about it and I couldn't tell anyone I was scared and I feel people will think I'm disgusting.it was the worst thing that has happend to me.4 months later I found out I was pregnant and I told my dad and brothers that it was a guy I met at a party and I don't know where he is anymore, they were ashamed of me but I can't tell them because I'm ashamed of myself.i was scared that they would make me abort it if they knew it was concieved this way and I'm against abortion.my mum walked out on me when I was little and I have no motherly figure to help me in this situation, my baby is beautiful and I love her but sometimes I feel like I hate her because of her dad and then I feel bad for hating her, I do love her so much but I don't know what to do.her dad knows about her and told me that he is sorry for what he did but I can never forgive him I was scared so much when he came to see me, what should I do, I can't live this way anymore?
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male
reader, thenotsogreat  + ♥, writes (26 October 2009):
 Im very sad to have read this. That this all could have happened to you, and at such a young age is just terrible.
I have a 10yr old daughter and every time I hear about rape I get very scared.
Sorry bout that rant. My advice is this: Firstly you need to start dealing with this whole situation, counciling would be best. Tell your family everything. They wont hate you, they will help you.
The secert in life is to have other people you can trust and rely on. You need people to help you and to pick you up when your down. Friends, family and that special someone are always the best option.
Please dont try to deal with this alone, it will just eat you up. As for the father, I think he should stay away until you feel comfortable in seeing him.
Best of luck dear, we are all on your side
A
female
reader, marieclaire  +, writes (25 October 2009):
 i do think you should tell your dad but if you don't at least tell your doctor how you feel. you seem like a good person and having these feelings is nothing to be ashamed of. it may be that you have post natal depression, or very understandable issues that your doctor might be able to refer you to a therapist for. don't be ashamed or embarrased. i hope you get some help soon
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  + ♥, writes (25 October 2009):
 If it is impossible to talk to him, maybe print out this question and hand it to him. Maybe it will be easier than saying the actual words. But, I think that the worst is over (telling him that you're pregnant), and your Dad will do nothing but love and support you. If you feel like he really won't be supportive, why not go to someone you feel comfortable with - a sibling, an Aunt, a teacher, a cousin? And then maybe they can help you tell your Dad. You have done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG and there's no need to be ashamed. Definitely talk to your Dad, maybe see if you can go into therapy and start working this out so that you can just love your baby and not resent her. I know you'll be a great Mom, so stay strong and open up to your family.
Good luck, sweetness...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009): Tell someone, gosh you shall suffer if you don't! Tell your dad!
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A
female
reader, darkvampire91 +, writes (25 October 2009):
 well done for coming for help, i know it is a very hard thing to done but it is the first step to recovery.you should definetely tell someone about what your second cousin did to you. i understand it wont be easy to tell anyone ad it might seem like the last thing you want to do but you must. this person could do it again to you or another person.you should try and tell your father, im sure he will understand. but if that is too awkard begin by telling a friend or other trusted adult like a doctor or a different family member. you might find it easier to tell a woman than a man. but whoever you tell, you should trust and they should understand and help you through it.it would be good to talk to a doctor as they can help you a lot and mayb refer you to a therapist who you can go through the problem with. from personal experience therapists help a lot with any problems you have so worry about them not understanding as im sure they will.i hope this helps and i hope you have every success in life :)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy + ♥, writes (25 October 2009):
Well done for recognizing that there is a problem. That's a brilliant first step.
There is nothing wrong with you, this can be a normal reaction in some rape victims, so don't feel ashamed and don't feel that youre doing anything wrong. You're not. However, it really is very important you tell someone this happened to you. It's terrible that you don't have a mum to go to, so please try your Dad. If you don't feel you can talk to him because he's a male and won't understand, then could you talk to your doctor? Or a female health visitor? You really don't need to be ashamed, and there is always a chance he could do it again to you, or someone else. So please be brave and tell someone this has happened. Also, by talking to someone about how you feel, you'll be able to start moving forward. The doctors will help you, and may refer you to a therapist so you can understand how you feel. It's important you tell someone just so you can move on. I know it's hard, but you have nothing to be ashamed of at all. You've done nothing wrong. Give yourself some care and just explain that you feel down because of everything. They will help. All the best.
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