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Sometimes, I feel nothing when I kiss my bofriend. What could be missing?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Faded love, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 January 2007) 8 Answers - (Newest, 31 January 2007)
A female , anonymous writes:

I love my boyfriend very much; he’s so caring, loving and sweet. I really don’t know what else more I can ask for. However, some times when I kiss him I not sure that I feel any thing why is that? What could be missing?

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A female reader, burlesqueen United Kingdom +, writes (31 January 2007):

I know exactly what you're going through.

Except, I had this new guy and the first time I kissed him I felt nothing.

So I kind of ended it after that, thinking that it wasnt fair on either of us if I wasnt tuned in. I came to regret ending it though, flirting before you kiss someone definitely makes a difference and I think that's all that was lacking.

So maybe flirt and mess around like friends and tease him before you go in for a kiss, build up to it.

Kayy :)

x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank to all of you that has replayed to this question, and I have been with him for a year now.

and we had not had sex yet .

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank to all of you that has replayed to this question, and I have been with him for a year now.

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A female reader, xLEAHx United Kingdom +, writes (28 January 2007):

xLEAHx agony auntIt all depends on what way you mean by kissing him for an example if your kissing passionately getting in the mood for some loving i.e sex and feel nothing, in other words your not getting turned on,it could be down to a number of things,maybe you have things on your mind which are worrying you or you are stressed about something or maybe you have your eye on someone else, this can often have an affect on arrousal and also you say you love your b/f but maybe don't fancy him nomore and he doesn't turn you on like he used to,in some relationships sex can become a chore depending on how long you have been in one,but if this kiss is just a lingering one on the lips to say hello/goodbye or just to show your love you proberly wouldn't feel nothing,we only really get butterflys and a tingerling sensation when its new and in the heat of passion, so if it is just that then you have no worries its perfectly normal.

Hope this helps xLEAHx

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A female reader, dragonette Sweden +, writes (28 January 2007):

dragonette agony auntI don't know what it is that you're expecting to feel, but I only had a feeling that the world was spinning the first 2 times that I kissed my boyfriend. After that, sometimes I felt happy and sometimes I felt other stuff. I noticed that when I'm stressed and I kiss him, nothing really happens with me, I get sort of numb.

I don't think that feeling nothing means that something is wrong though. Maybe you just aren't sensitive to kisses. Maybe it's holding hands or doing other stuff that makes you feel good?

But you can always try to kiss him in a different way and see if it feels any different. Or you could try to really focus on how your lips feel when you kiss him and see if that changes anything.

Good luck!

/dragonette

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2007):

Sometimes its normal to feel nothing at the start or when your still getting over someone else??

Let love grow and dont try to force things its obvious he cares so give it time and you forgot to tell us how long you'd been going out?? Give it 6mths - 1year before the honeymoon is over. Its more important to be friends and not all the hype of sex, passion etc because its taken me 36 years to show me i should have married my attractive friend than wait for the ultimate godess! Give it time sweet!

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A female reader, Nikita United Kingdom +, writes (28 January 2007):

Nikita agony aunt You dont say how long you've been together but if its a while then the initial first time excitement does tend to wear off and you dont always feel that 'wow' factor anymore. Bear in mind though that it doesnt always have to be fireworks when you kiss. Sometimes, if you're tired or low or pre-menstrual, its hard to feel much. We all expereince different levels of affection for our partners depending on our moods.

Also you can sometimes love someone but not be in love with them. Do you know what I mean and the spark that makes it exciting is not always there. I think you're lucky that you've found a guy who is everything you could ask for. A lot of women would kill to have what you have! Just appreciate what you have with him. Like I said, it doesnt have to be fireworks all the time. Make the most of the love you have and work on regaining the spark if you can. Good luck x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2007):

Maybe U Dont Feel The Same Way U Use To Feel About Him,But That Does Not Mean That U Need To Break Up You'll Fill It One Day

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