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Someone told me my boyfriend is having a gay affair and I think its true!

Tagged as: Cheating, Gay relationships, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 August 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 31 August 2009)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My mate and I been together for five years. We were both virgins starting out in our realtionship. Within these five years I have yet to experince an orgasm.

Well recently I received a email from a guy claiming him and my boyfriend have been having a sexual relationship. He gave me his number and I called him. In the conversation he told me things only my boyfriend could have told him like his middle name, and problems we were having in our realationship. My mate met this guy through a gay website. When talking to this guy I ask him was he my mates first gay lover he said no, there were two before him. The two he is referring to I know them, not literally but somewhat. When I conforted my mate about it he stumbled over his answer saying he wasn't gay and the dude was only lying. He even took the caution to call and confront the guy through a telephone call while I was sitting and listening.

I really think my mate is lying because I know his body language when something isnt right. Well through this incident he told me the only guy he ever messed with was when he was molseted at a younger age. Im not denying that its just this other stuff. Not only did he finally tell me that but he havent no one else but one of the dudes he is suppose to be sleeping with. I mean its weird because these entire five years he has not had a guy friend but all of a sudden he going hanging out with a dude he has not introduced me to. Coming home at 3-5 oclock in the morning. I dont know something isnt right.

View related questions: affair, both virgins, orgasm

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2009):

Hi there, that's a heck of a lot to get your head around! It sounds as if things aren't right within your own relationship though and I wonder are you in love with this guy, or is it more a matey/brother/sister type relationship. You said you were both virgins when you met and have been together for 5 years so I think maybe its time for you both to move on and meet other people and really get to know yourselves rather than just been together because you are used to each other. It sounds like you care a lot for this guy and you could probably still be friends as you have spent a large part of your life together. Bite the bullet and close this particular chapter and move on with your life. Good luck.

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A female reader, linz09 United Kingdom +, writes (31 August 2009):

linz09 agony auntI am afraid all the things you say point to the fact he is lying to you. I feel if you have a gut feeling its alway right plus it's pretty much been confimed to you after ringing that guy.

I know its hard facing up to the fact that he could hurt you like this, but I don't feel you can let his behaviour go on much longer, suddenly hanging around with new people and not coming home till the early hours.

I think you already know in your heart whats happened but you can't face up to it yet.

You need to move on. it's hard to do, but it's better to make that move now than waste another five years of your life in a relationship that really isn't going anywhere and is neither emotionally or sexually fullfilling to you.

Be strong and take care

linz :)

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