New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244945 questions, 1084256 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Someone please help me with my husband!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Family, Marriage problems, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 July 2010) 8 Answers - (Newest, 1 August 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, *edupmommyoftwo writes:

[Mod note: Combined two questions as they are both about the same marriage.]

i am a 22 year old mother of two i have been married to my husband for over a year now we have dated since high school for the past eight years.in 2007 he gotten incarcerated and i was the only one there giving him money, making sure he had food and all his needs were met i was forced to live in a shelter just so he could have a place to live when he was released in 2009 we married 2 weeks after since then he has been nothing but controlling and feels he can talk to me any kind of way calling me a worthless government girl he also gets violent at times every time i try to talk to him he puts the blame on me and says i am the cause of everything i beat myself up all the time trying to figure out what i do and can never come up with an answer i wonder if he's cheating because he is out all the time with his friends one of them are currently engaged and still has interaction with other woman i wonder if he does the same there are times he doesn't even come home he stays out all day with out a phone call home to say anything there are times he doesn't even come home at night i am sick of crying each time i tell him to leave he thinks I'm joking but i am really serious i don't know what to do any more can some one please help me.

---------------

my husband is out all the time with his friends. his friends are such womanizers i always wonder if does the same just to impress them so they wouldn't call him names like lover boy. i sometimes find other females numbers in his phone when i question him about it he says if i didn't go through his phone then i wouldn't see things he now has a lock on his phone is this acceptable in a marriage.is it ok for someone's husband to be out all day and not even come home at night sometimes. someone please help.

View related questions: engaged, money, violent, womaniser

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, Oregongrl1 United States +, writes (1 August 2010):

One last reply! i hate the word they wont let you? let you what, decide if you want him or not decide if hes going to take the dog collar off from around your neck. you are your own person w/ your own choices and decisions and your own mind and body to do what the hell you want to w/ it! and not for some bozo who can't even treat you like a lady or even half way decent, that he's going to maybe let you walk out that door or not. you use your head make your choices and decisions and hit the road and when you are doing it hold your head up high smile w/ real confidence and look at him and tell him i deserve better then you. i might call the dog pound maybe someone will claim you?

Best Wishes Sister!

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, Oregongrl1 United States +, writes (7 July 2010):

Get proof when he threatens you! tape him. and you know they always threaten you when no'ones around. and as far as not letting you leave? that is not cool, you need to make some phone calls! i don't know if you realize what he is capable of? but next they will use your kids against you because they know you wont leave with out them. my ex ran to the courts and filed a false complaint against me that i did not know about. and do you know what it consisted of i could not take my son out of the state where we resided.

he did that so i would not leave him! im telling you, you need to get help and do it quick, believe me it's not something that i even wanted to bring up and the only reason i told you was hopefully you will know how serious this is! please trust your instincts and use your head and get one step ahead of him.

Good Luck!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Oregongrl1 United States +, writes (6 July 2010):

He done told you of his cheating! if you don't go in his phone then you wouldn't see the numbers. what a bozo, don't you think you deserve better then that? i don't think you need for us to tell you what to do you already know! get out honey, why you are still young. i would be out of it in a heart beat. you can be hanging out w/ your friends going to the beach, hiking, picnics, movies, shopping w/ the girls, instead you are staying there with a wanna be man who never will be, nor is he going to treat you w/ any respect shit he doesn't even respect his'self. go live your life laugh again smile and love who you are some men don't know they lost it until it's gone? his loss your gaine. and i promise you when you are out of it but you have got to give yourself some time, you will start seeing things in a different light and feeling better too! you wont even want him back and believe me it will show too! thats when they want you back but know this don't go back because they never change because when you go back it gives them more laverage because you went back and they know in their sick mind you are his little punching bag whether it's mental or phyiscal. i hope you get out because it will never change and he's going to do it to the next girl hes an abusiver! they have away of making you feel like it's all your fault and that oh they love you and no'one else will love you like them. then they will start keeping you from your friends and family because he knows that they see right through him and they will try and get you out of it. go take some counseling classes at the shelter! please know you are worth it and you are a good person. just do it and tell yourself you will not look back!!

Sincerely:

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (6 July 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntThen you are dealing with an abuser. Contact this organization for a local referral:

http://www.ndvh.org/

National Domestic Violence Hotline.

Phone 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)

If he is threatening you then he is an abusive man. I hope you are able to get the help you need and keep you and your children safe.

Best wishes.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, fedupmommyoftwo United States +, writes (6 July 2010):

fedupmommyoftwo is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank you all for your great input. but what do you do when he won't let you leave and threatens you when you try to

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, loraemoon United Kingdom +, writes (6 July 2010):

loraemoon agony aunti would say nomatter the love you may have for him hes obviously not showing anything back to you, hes got no respect for you at all, he thinks he can come n go as he pleases its not fair obviously his mates have given you a lot of doubt in your mind because of the way they are,i would of said maybe hes different but with you saying hes now locked his phone ect hes obviously hiding something n to be violent is another dont put up with it get out now! good luck

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, ctds001 United Kingdom +, writes (6 July 2010):

Hey hun,

My Ex husband had friends just like your husbands. I thought they were womanizers because their girlfriends didn't give them sex regularly.

So I always belived because I was good looking and taking care of my Ex husband in the bedroom he would NEVER stray.

Well what a JOKE!! The pig had been cheating the minute he had a chance! Probably with 6 months of us getting together, With multiple women - telling them I was not interested in sex and we live seperate lives.

A cheater will always cheat, and you can judge a man by he's friend.

It's time for you to flee this foul and get yourself a real man! Love is no good without Respect.

Respect is not Hitting, lying, taking your partner for granted, staying out all night!!

Get out now

Good luck x

Exactly the same lies he's friends used to tell women!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, Odds United States +, writes (5 July 2010):

Odds agony auntYour husband will never change. He is bad for you and for your children. I really hate to say this to someone who is obviously in such distress, but having his children and marrying him were both mistakes.

Get away from him, file for divorce, and break away clean. Get support from your friends, and family, if you can. Arrange to watch each others' children while the other works, and try to get a decent job. Stop supporting your husband. If you can keep this up until you are stable, then you can start looking for a new man.

I'll warn you that dating will be very difficult for a single mom, especially if the father is such a thug. But your children should come first, now, and what's best for them is to get away from his poisonous influence and find them a new father-figure who will be a better example. More importantly, they need to see that their mother will not get into this destructive pattern, or they will be likely to follow the same path when they grow up.

You have a difficult path ahead of you if you want what is best for you and your children. Get the support of any friends you can, and offer whatever you can to keep that support. Good luck.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "Someone please help me with my husband!"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312463999980537!