A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone, how do you deal with a petty, catty work environment? Honestly, I feel like I just need to vent to some helpful strangers with the comfort of knowing no one will ever find this. However, any advice will be appreciated.I am a young student, who recently got an internship in my field. I work in a hospital. I had a few different choices of where I could work for my internship. I chose this specific floor on this specific hospital, because I was told by all of the staff that everyone got along and was very friendly. Having a positive work environment is important to me, and I've never had issues in the workplace before. When I first started, almost everyone I met was really nice and friendly. They all seemed to get along, however everyone--and I mean EVERYONE, complained about the difficult work on the hospital floor. This floor specifically has a high burnout rate, because of the type of care being delivered. Nevertheless, I personally never displayed any sort of unprofessional attitude towards the patients, and was an understanding ear for when my coworkers needed to vent. I definitely had growing pains, as one does, when it comes to a new job. However, I had a good attitude, I asked questions, I listened to criticism, and I showed up every day on time. I even skipped breaks when I was behind on my work. I felt that with every day, I was improving. I was then scheduled to work 8 days in a row, with only one day off. That meant 8 days of waking up at 5:30 am, being on my feet all day, and caring for very sick people. It was exhausting: mentally, emotionally and physically. In the middle of the 8 days, I had a day where I was very overwhelmed and very tired. I -- for the first time, ever, vented to a colleague about an aspect of the job I don't particularly like. (for the record, this "aspect" isn't particularly important or special, but we have to do "it" a lot, and no one likes doing "it"). That same day, while I was overwhelmed with exhaustion, I missed performing a routine blood test by two hours. When I realized, I immediately corrected and reported my mistake, and felt absolutely terrible for the rest of the day-- despite no one being harmed by my human mistake. The next day, at work, I was sat down by my two managers and had a meeting about my "open dislike for doing my job" and all of the mistakes I had allegedly made since beginning to work there only a few weeks ago. I felt absolutely terrible, and after the meeting I began to cry because I was so overwhelmed with emotion. None of the "accusations" were true, aside from what I had previously stated. I went home and examined every single point of what I had been in trouble for, and none of it made sense. Other coworkers of mine had complimented me on the work I was doing. Perhaps pulling me aside for some additional training was needed, but a formal meeting with my boss? No, that felt way too extreme. And was it really so bad to vent to my coworker? I always thought that is what coworkers are for, to support one another.In the days that followed, I tried to quietly figure out who had ratted on me to my bosses. I kept my head down, did the best job I could, and quietly observed my coworkers. Ultimately, I figured it must have been 2 or 3 of the women I work with. All three of my suspects were working with me on the aforementioned date when I made a mistake, and I observed their pettiness, their impatience, and their quick-to-complain attitude. I recalled the days when I was still training and one of them yelled at me for not working fast enough. I found my accusers. Once I figured out who it was, I realized I had no idea what to do with this information. I can tell by the way they treat me that they do not like me, and I feel as if that will never change. I can't confront them, because I will ultimately be seen as the bad guy. I can't quit, because this internship is supposed to be giving me connections for my future career. Their accusations are baseless--as if they were accusing an inexperienced worker of being inexperienced. All I really can do is put my head down and keep working. It is so difficult to maintain a clear head when working with them now. I feel constantly judged and that if I make one tiny mistake, that I will have another meeting with my bosses. There is a staff meeting coming up, and I have this awful vision of my coworkers ganging up on me, and losing my job. The anxiety this has caused me makes me dread going to work, for fear that those three will be there. I regret choosing this position, and know now that I should've chosen another path. However, what can I do? I'm in no position to quit. How do I navigate all of these emotions at work? How do I keep a clear head?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2018): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYoucannotbeserious, I cannot thank you enough for that answer. It was so reassuring and kind, and genuinely helpful. Thank you 3
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2018): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYoucannotbeserious, I cannot thank you enough for that answer. It was so reassuring and kind, and genuinely helpful. Thank you 3
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (30 June 2018):
 Sending huge hugs. Being forced to work in such a hostile environment is draining. (Been there, done it.)
As you work in a tough environment, where everyone is presumably stretched to their limits and many may fear they cannot stand the pace, I suspect the complaints were more about people trying to make THEMSELVES look good at your expense than about your inefficiency. When the work environment is so tough that it causes feelings of insecurity, it becomes a bit of a dog-eat-dog situation and people will turn on the "weakest" member as a scapegoat. As you are young and inexperienced, they view you as fair prey. Sad but, in my experience, not at all unusual. Their complaints say much more about THEM and THEIR insecurities than they do about your work.
Could you pull one of your managers aside and ask to have a quiet word? Explain that, having thought about what you were accused of, you don't feel you were guilty of the accusations (bar the one you mentioned). Then perhaps ask if there is any extra training you can undertake or anything else you can do to improve your performance as you don't want people to think you are not doing your job properly. Tell the manager the job is VERY important to you and you want to do everything in your power to make it work. In your shoes I would also apologise for the complaining (which, in fairness, you did do) and say you were on a bad day, you did say those things but you didn't actually MEAN them.
In the meantime, I would do as you are doing. Keep your head down, work as hard as you can, be pleasant to everyone but refuse to get drawn into your colleagues' complaining. If they try to complain to you, just smile, say something neutral like "I hear what you are saying" and excuse yourself from the situation as politely and quickly as possible.
Good luck. This too will pass and I am sure you will do well.
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