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So what's my next move? The guy at work I'm very very attracted to? Or my Bf of one year?

Tagged as: Crushes, Dating, Three is a crowd, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 January 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 20 January 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

hello,

i work in a medium sized company, 7months ago a new guy joined our team of 6. He is really good looking, attractive, polite ect ect. we do get on really well and i feel attracted to him, he is very much my type to be honest.

The thing is i'm in a relationship.

I have been with my partner for over a year now, i love him, i do feel attracted to him as well and in all honesty he's one of my best friends as well as a boyfriend.

so is this normal i feel attracted to this other guy? should i cut him off, apart from when we're at work?

any advice?

View related questions: at work, best friend

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2013):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

@So_Very_Confused

yes, we're mates outside work too, we do hang out one or two times a week with other people we work with. The guy I fancy and my partner met a few times on various occasions i.e. colleagues birthday etc.

I don't want to be unfair and dishonest with my boyfriend, that's why I should cut the guy from work off, i.e. stop hanging out after work.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (18 January 2013):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntIt's always difficult to be around girls who I find to be interesting/attractive/sexy.....

I think back to my early years, when my allowance was pretty generous ($1, by the time I was 14!)... and I went to the candy store.... and there, before me, was every confection known to man...

WHAT TO DO? WHICH TO SELECT???? It was always torment (every week)... but I learned that, ultimately, I had to select one, put my money on the counter, receive my selection, and be content that I'd chosen the one I wanted most....

Good luck....

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (18 January 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntit's normal to find others attractive when you are in a relationship. IT does not necessarily mean your relationship is over.

I would actually suggest strongly you NEVER date someone you work closely with.

when you say "should I cut him off apart from when we are at work" does that mean you are friends with him outside of work and he's not friends with your boyfriend?

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (18 January 2013):

kenny agony auntIts never a good idea to start dating someone that you work with, it may be all exciting and fun in the beginning, but when/if things started to go downhill then things can then become very arkward still having to see each other every day, not just for the two of you, but for you co-workers too.

My advice would be to stay with your current partner and just treat this guy as a good looking colleague and just treat him like everyone else. If on the other hand you feel things may start materialising between you and you colleague then you have to finish things with your current partner, and also one of you may have to look for somewhere else to work too.

Good luck

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