A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, any help would be brilliant.Basically, I have had a thing on and off with a guy for 4 years. We have both liked each other for that time but for one reason or another, nothing ever came of it. He's very shy and I was going through some personal issues, which meant that it was just bad timing.Anyways, he told me at the end of last year he really liked me and wanted to try it out but at the time I was going through depression and I didn't think it was fair to drag someone else into that, so I said that I felt the same but the timing was so bad. About four months later, this other guy came into my life and we started to become close. I was honest with him from the start about my feelings for this other guy and he was okay with it because what we had was just casual. Next thing I know, he's telling me he's feels more which confuses me. I feel guilty for the other guy that I really like, but I've also developed feelings towards the new guy and am finding it hard to end it,despite things not feeling quite right for me.So what do I do? End it and then go back to the guy that I've liked for four years and see where it takes us? Were really good friends so I don't want to ruin that either, and at the moment he doesn't know about the other guy (something I have been trying to tell him for a while now) Or, continue with the new guy, who is so lovely to me and really likes me? Ahhhhh
View related questions:
shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (5 August 2014):
 Well done for not going out with someone while you were depressed, as it is common mistake people make which often has bad consequences. You are obviously in a very difficult situation here, as you are torn between guys, one is a guy who you have had a "thing" for, for about 4 years, the other is a new guy who you haven't known for long but he has already grabbed your attention. Now of course, I can't decide who you should pick. I am not you, I don't know these guys and I don't know the relationship you have with either of them. All I can do is give you some advice which can HELP you make your decision. Now firstly, when you close your eyes, and think about each guy, think about there good qualitys, think about how nice and attractive each on is, now think about this. What are YOU looking for in a relationship? Do you want someone who gets you going in the bedroom? Someone who you can have deep intellectual chats with and are constantly interesting? Someone who you can show off to your friends and family? Someone who's shoulder you can cry on? I know you probably want all of these, but this is when you have to really think about it. We are all attracted to different things, and out of these 3 things what do you want a relationship to fufil? Do you want it fufil you either Emotionally, Sexually or Mentally. Think of the one you want the most out of them 3 when it comes to a relationship. And when you have decided that think out of the two guys which one attracts you the most when it comes to you one out of 3. For instance if you picked Emotionally, see which one you are attracted to the most when it comes to emotions. Now once you have done that, I want you to get two pieces of paper, write one guys name on one, and the other guys name on the other. And then I want you to right all the pro's of dating that guy, do it for both of them. Then I want you to write down all the con's of dating both guys. Once you have done, count all the pro's for each and see who has the most, the count all the con's for each and see who has the most. This should start up the process of you making up your mind. Good Luck x
|
