A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am so lonely. My partner and I broke up in April 2009 after 10 years together. Amicable, we had grown apart, partly because of our age gap (she was 11 years older). After a few months of finding myself again, as opposed to being half of a couple, I was ready to start dating again but didn't realise how hard it was going to be. I'm 36 and my work and hobbies don't tend to being me into contact with many single women so I looked at internet dating. I've had interest and been on a few dates but 65% of the women on the sites I have used already have kids and about 25% want them. I don't want kids and am honest about this - I have never had that desire. But I am becoming so very lonely. I have lots of friends, many of them female, but I want someone to share my life with - or at least in the short term, someone to go places with. Where do I go?
View related questions:
broke up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2010): OP again. No, I certainly don't mean going out to pubs on my own! I wanted to go out with her and do things - whether it be a game of badminton, or the cinema, meet up with friends - but she hardly ever did. I tried to get her to have friends over, but it was always too much effort (even though I was prepared to do the cooking). It ended up that I stopped doing my hobbies to stay in with her but that's not a relationship - no compromise at all.
A
female
reader, OhGetReal  +, writes (21 July 2010):
 Well if you mean you still are going out to pubs at the age of 36, I don't blame her for breaking up with you. If you are "still doing it" and not finding quality women and feeling lonely, perhaps it is time to rethink exactly what is wrong with staying in and gardening with the woman you love....what's out there exactly that you are missing?
You may have already screwed the pooch on this one, but possibly it is time to do a little soul searching and think if you need to grow up and make some changes already...you're not exactly a kid anymore...
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2010): OP here. In answer to your question, my partner was still very attractive and didn't look her age at all. It was more a case of she was content to stay in and garden whereas I wanted to be more active. I guess she'd been there and done that but I was still doing it!
...............................
A
female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (20 July 2010):
I was wondering what about your 11 year age difference make you grow apart? Was it that she was physically not attractive to you any more?
There really is no short answer to your question, it's normal to feel lonely after a long term relationship ends, you always miss the feeling of being in love and being loved even though you made a decision that you were not happy in that relationship you still miss many things about it.
You meet women everywhere, in the store, on the street and in your activities. If your hobbies aren't bringing into contact with single women, then change some of your activities, like go to bookstores and hang out, volunteer with a cause that you care about, go to church, tell people you want to meet women and be willing to get fixed up. It will happen when you least expect it.
I'm with you, not a big fan of on line dating...there are a lot of personality disordered people that resort to that method of finding a relationship, been there done that, NO thank you.
...............................
|
