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So I like this guy, but I have a boyfriend!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Crushes, Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 September 2014) 3 Answers - (Newest, 2 October 2014)
A female United States age 22-25, *ynne writes:

So, I like this guy. A lot. And I think he might like me back! But the thing is, that I have a boyfriend already, and we are kind of growing apart. I never see him anymore, and I think we both just want space... Should I tell him that it isn't working out, then go after the guy that I actually have feelings for? My boyfriend and I were really close over the summer, but I really wanted to focus on school this year, and I haven't really talked to him for about six weeks now. I don't even know if I like him anymore. While all of this is happening, the boy that I like and I are getting to be really good friends. But I've had boyfriends before, and they cause so much drama that I sometimes wonder if it's worth it. The thing about my boyfriend is that he is really sweet. If I told him that it wasn't working out, it would break his heart, and I really don't want to friend-zone him. But I feel kind of uncomfortable around him sometimes, and I don't think that that is how it is supposed to feel in a relationship... Please help!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2014):

Dont ever be a boyfriend hopper! it leaves the lad in a crap posistion!! if you want to end it then end it and dont be selfish

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A female reader, Wynne United States +, writes (1 October 2014):

Wynne is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for the feedback. These are all good points, and I will keep this in mind!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (1 October 2014):

Honeypie agony auntNEVER be a boy-friend jumper! You know the girl who can't handle being single but you can't have a lasting relationship, because there is ALWAYS a nicer, hotter, sweeter, whatever boy out there?

If you feel like you and your BF are dunzo, then END it. And do it nicely. If you don't feel comfortable around him, why stay? You CAN NOT stay with a guy because you are afraid of hurting his feelings. That is silly and it will make you miserable in the long run.

JUST BE HONEST. Tell him that you feel like you two aren't really compatible/working out (choose your own word) and you feel it would be wrong to keep dating. It will hurt, that is the way of breaking up. It's not called FUN UP - it's called BREAK UP for a reason.

THERE are NO rules stating that YOU have to be friends with an ex. You can if you want to, but if you don't then just cut the contact after you break up.

Then GIVE yourself a LITTLE time before you start dating guy #2. Keep hanging out as friends and see if you REALLY want to date him down the line.

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