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Slept together and now haven't heard a thing?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 January 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 20 January 2009)
A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I was out with friends a few weeks ago and i got chatting to the doorman of the bar we were in, we kissed at the end of the night and he gave me his number.we met up a few times after that, we went out last friday night and ended up sleeping together. he text the following night saying how happy he was he met me and he couldnt wait to see me again etc.. so i never heard from him all week and i decided to text him on friday night and he hasnt replied, its now sunday and im really confussed, im usually a good judge of character and i thought he was a genuinely nice person and so did my friends, thats why i really dont understand this!he made such a fuss of me introduced me to his friends..etc..now hes just blown me out? whats going on?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2009):

ok so i never heard from him again and im over it..the next problem is im going to a party in the place he works next w/e do i say hi or just ignore him?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2009):

he was most likely lying to you and using you as harsh as it sounds.

i've worked in many bars and with many doorman in clubs as well, they are slags to put it bluntly, they are constantly being chatted up by silly girls and get as much free sex offers as they can shake a stick at.

you have women who will do anything they can to get into a club/bar or whatever and unfortunately men who work on doors usually take it and give themselves a reputation.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2009):

I've had the exact same situation happen to me. He probably was confused and didn't know what he wanted. The same about you.

My advice would be to give him a week, but if it takes him that long to respond or get into contact with you that means something in and of itself.

Just learn from this and move on if he never talks back. I would say, that the best thing to do is not initiate sex with someone, no matter how good they seem to be, and actually probably are, unless you are officially dating. It saves the confusion of where you stand and where you guys are.

He probably did really like you, and you are a great person to him, but it seems like he just wanted a no strings thing, a one night stand. I wouldn't trust him in the future.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (11 January 2009):

I think you should hope for the best but expect the worsed from this situation.

He was a gentleman about it but it appears he only wanted a one night thing.

All I can advise is to go out for more than a week before sleeping with a guy you want to keep.

Good Luck!! xx

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