| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I'd like to hear what some guys think. My bf and I have been together about 2 years now. we never said i love you all the time the way some couples do, but usually when one of us said it, the other would say it back. Maybe not every time (it wasn't like an obligation or something), but in general, it was about even. We had sex for the first time a few months ago, and it was the first time for both of us, even tho we're in our 20s. Since then things have been okay. We fool around as much as we ever did, and i think the sex is good, although i'm not sure if he does i think sometimes he has problems with the condoms but there are a few positions that seem to work ok for him. The problem is that it seems to me ever since we started having sex, he hasn't told me he loves me. And i don't know whether it's something i'm imagining, b/c i was worried about going from just oral, etc., to actual sex, or whether it's real and if it is real, what does it mean? We've been realy busy (him even more than me) but we still make time to see each other almost every day, even if it's just for a quick meal or something.Do you think he's stopped loving me? i'm feeling really insecure right now about a lot of things, generally, and i don't want to put that on him b/c i'm already trying to make up for having been passive-aggressive and too iritable in the past. Have his feelings for me changed now that he's getting sex, or is it probably just in my head? my friends told me the thing about guys not liking girls anymore once they slept with them doesn't count when it takes them two years to get to that point, because they obviously werne't in it just for sex. is that true?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Badger_Simon  +, writes (14 January 2007):
 Just because a guy doesnt say it as often as you would like, it doesnt mean he doesnt love you anymore. If he is so busy and yet he still makes the time to dedicate to seeing you, isnt that implying that he still wants to be with you and he stil loves you. Now that you have had sex you're relationship has changed dramatically, you're expecting a far greater level of commitment, and possibly exagerating every little insecurity. All you need to do is relax, calm yourself down and have some real communication with your boyfriend and clear everything up. It should do wonders for you.
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (14 January 2007):
 I know you asked for guys advice but can I just say a few things that occurred to me? Firstly I don't think he's stopped loving you, just that he's letting his actions speak to you rather than his words. I think you're feeling insecure about sex, just as most girls do after losing their virginity. It'll pass I promise, it's just those pesky hormones messing you round. Hope this helps. Try to chill and enjoy your boyfriend sweetie.
CD
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