A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my gf and I has a passionate beginningfor the first year and a half wejust couldn't get enoughearly on I thot I'd die from trying to keep upseemed I was her best lover evertho, and I learned to build my appetite we had sex 3 or 4 times a day and ever after a year , it was once a day stillwe broke up and got back togetherafter five months but it's just not returnedto anything substantial - maybe one day in ten nowthe split was for non sexual reasons and she swears she wants to be with me (she broke up for reasons of jealousy in my part but came back after I proved I had and have changed)I don't understand . she lays there saying I don't know what to do , I know if I don't give u sex eventually you look elsewhere n then the next minute she holds me tightly n caresses me and says "it'll come back- just give it time"what do I do?-- it's been this way for four or so months since we got back together
View related questions:
broke up, got back together, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Bob Loblaw +, writes (9 July 2012):
You two have resumed the relationship, but it takes time for her to regain the trust in you that she once had. Sure, she can *say* she trusts you again, but deep down it's not so quick and easy, and her actions illustrate that. If she felt truly emotionally connected with you and trusting in you, I'm sure there'd be no problem.
I'm not saying you are doing anything wrong here - I have no idea. But the lack of sex here is a symptom of some deeper issue. My suspicion is that she wants things to be back to normal with you (and it sounds like "normal" for her was to be very close and intimate with you often), but that she is also hoping that her underlying doubts about simply vanish. Doubts however don't simply vanish on their own.
As aunt honesty said, communication is the key. If you are as good a couple as you think you might be, go ahead and keep talking about these things. Don't pretend the problems don't exist, but also keep driving home the point that you are there for her and that you are not giving up. Little things like that can really ease a woman's mind, and open her up in ways that she might not always be aware of herself.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 July 2012):
 I think you need to find out why her sex drive has falling so low. Maybe she has trouble accepting the relationship again. You both need to sit down and talk this through and ask her why she feels the way that she does. Talking about it is the only thing that you can do here. Communication is key in a relationship.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2012): maybe she's scared that your relationship will just be sexually orientated. I went off having sex with my boyfriend because I felt that the relationship would have less meaning and he would be more likely to leave. Just give her loads of affection, show her your relationship is worth a lot more, and that you won't leave :)
...............................
|
