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Since he doesn't like me, how do I move on?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Crushes<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 March 2014) 3 Answers - (Newest, 23 March 2014)
A female United States age 30-35, *riaz writes:

i thought a shy friend of mine liked me, but now i've come to the conclusion that it was all in my head.

I only thought he liked me because of our mutual friend's teasing (i.e. making references about me being his "boo/girl", asking me multiple times if i would ever go out with him), but they tease him about a lot of the girls in our class, so I shouldn't have thought anything in the first place. It sucks for me now, because i think I've developed feelings for him.

We hardly talk, and it seems that whenever we're hanging out with a group of friends, he tries to avoid me (sitting as far away from possible from me, not making eye contact, every time i approach he leaves) which clearly means he's not interested.

We were at a party to celebrate some of our friend's birthdays, and of course, there was booze there. One of the girls got drunk and was all over him. While he didn't seem to enjoy it, he did not really make an effort to get out of that situation. Our friends took lots of pictures and were teasing him about it "cutest couple, etc...) I think she likes him (which is kinda cute, since she's the baby of our class)

My point is, since he doesn't like me, how do I move on?

View related questions: drunk, move on, shy, teasing

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2014):

How about not hanging out in the same places you'll know he'll be?

You could stop watching every move he makes for a start. You are tormenting yourself by observing him when he's around other girls, scoping him out in class, and always in close proximity somehow. You have no choice in school. You do, out in public.

I'm sure you have friends that don't always end-up members of his audience. If you have to, go out of your way to avoid him.

That might work.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (23 March 2014):

Honeypie agony auntI think first step is ALWAYS accepting that a crush is OK to have but it DOESN'T mean they HAVE to like you back.

And once you discover they don't feel the same way they USUALLY tend to becomes less interesting.

I would just start by minimizing the contact with him and the "mutual" friend.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (23 March 2014):

Tisha-1 agony auntI think starting to distance yourself from this mutual friend would be the first step. Make sure you surround yourself with positive supportive people who like you for you.

This mutual friend sounds like he has the mental maturity of a 14 year old. Okay, maybe 16. Whatever he is, he is NOT a friend.

As for getting over a crush, well there are 100s if not 1000s of answers here, you can search the archives: http://www.dearcupid.org/search and type in "how to get over a crush" or some similar search term.

I would very frankly re-evaluate the people I was hanging out with based on their maturity level. If you are this affected by this guy's idiotic banter and teasing then you probably won't be able to handle much of it from him or people like him.

Sorry.

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