A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Ok, well I have been with my boyfriend for a few months and so far he has been incredibly understanding about my insecurities. I am a very shy person, particularly when it comes to relationships but he has told me many times that he is fine with taking it slow and says lovely things like "something as good as you is worth the wait". For me, kissing him was a huge step as I've been so nervous that i haven't managed to kiss ANYONE until last month. But for normal people my age having sex is at about the same level and hes 2 years older than me.... I'm perfectly comfortable at the stage we are at now- kissing and touching but nothing more. The thing is, part of me wants to go further but is cripplingly shy about it so i just can't yet. I know I'm not ready. he hasnt said anything to me but i know that he will start to get impatient soon, what if he thinks that i dont like him because i wont put out? i think iv still got a few months til the situation gets tense but eventually won't he get fed up? i know he really likes me but what nineteen year old boy wants to be stuck with a long term girlfriend who won't do anything with him? i want to be with him for a long time but in a normal relationship i should become comfortable and trusting enough to do things with him... but i just cant see myself overcoming my shyness!!! the thought of being naked infront of someone else is PETRIFYING!!! please help me... i dont want to lose him :( sorry for the long post. xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2007): Take your time. If he is not willing to wait on you he is not worth waiting for. You seem like you have an understanding guy. I have one of those myself. For religous and personal reasons I decided that I did not want to have sex until I was married. I made those intentions known to everyone I dated. I found a man that respected those wishes and five years later we are still going strong. We are now talking about marriage and family. I know if my man can wait yours can too. You can have fun without having sex. As far as the naked thing goes if you want to take more steps do them with your clothes on. He can go up your shirt or skirt with his hands without taking them off. Move slowly and go a little further each time. Guide him where you want him to go. This will ensure that you are comfortable with what he is doing and he doesn't over step your boundries.
A
female
reader, xmollyx +, writes (23 July 2007):
 If its the getting naked thing your scared about dont worry i was the same if you want to go futher but dont want to coz of the naked thing why not talk to him about it you can always wear a nitey that way you can still have the intercourse if you wish but you dont have to worry about being naked. Im sure after awhile you will start to get more confident with your self just like i did. Ask him if he would'nt mind im sure he will be understanding.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  + ♥, writes (22 July 2007):
 I suppose that, yes, eventually he could get impatient. However, I don't think you should change your mind about having sex. If you can't do it now, you'd better not. If the time comes when he's starting to get impatient, talk to him again, so he can wait perhaps just a bit more.
Now, about being naked in front of someone, I understand many people feel that way, but they get over it eventually. I suppose that part of your being unwilling to have sex has to do with this unwillingness to be naked.
If your relationship gets better, eventually you'll come to want him, and you'll accept the sex. You know, sex with someone you love is wonderful. You'll get to experience it someday.
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