A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband is a very handsome man with beautiful eyes and he has many admirers. I am nearly due with my 3rd child and we are both really excited about the new addition to our young family and a little anxious while we wait for the big day.The only blot on the landscape is this woman also about my age who has been spreading rumours that they are having an affair.I know this is nonsense because my husband comes home to me everynight after work.He says she is a psychochick who has latched onto him because she has nothing else in her life but it makes me feel uneasy because these rumours get back to me all the time.He has told her he is married but she doesnt seem to get it.Lately I heard she has been telling people he eyefucked her in a coffee shop and thats where the affair started.It is a coffee shop he used to go to but he is avoiding this now.I dont know what to do. She hasnt done anything illegal but I cant help worrying that she might.I wish she had someone special in her life but my husband says she is just single and jealous of me.We have talked about moving away to another state to make a better life for ourselves and our family and to get her off of our radar.Do you think its necessary or will she back off and leave us alone?(Mod note: flag should show U.K.)
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 October 2016):
 I don't think you should uproot your whole family if you are happy where you are. But I do think you need to talk to this woman. It is clear that you trust your husband and you have no doubts. Therefore I think you both need to confront this woman as a couple, if he has done nothing wrong he will have no problem doing this, if he refuses then I would question as to why. It is hateful you having to go through this when you are pregnant. Therefore I think it is best the both off you call around and ask her why she is spreading rumors. You will tell from her face and his what the truth is.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2016): If there is no truth in nutty woman's story, then you should both go have coffee in the cafe she frequents and ask her why is she spreading hateful rumours. You need to get a look at her, your intuition will tell you what you need to know. If she is a complete nutjob and says more nutty things, time for a restraining order or something to stop her causing trouble.. get yourselves to the police would be my advice. If your husband has nothing to hide, he will agree to all this.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (6 October 2016):
 If she IS a psycho who has decided she wants YOUR husband, she isn't just going to stop. There is NO way you can control this person.
Suing (or trying to) her for harassment or slander is going to be tough to prove and costly to even TAKE to court. And it's going to be harder IF your husband was doing something to encourage her behavior. I would look into stalker laws in your state and see what the law it. I don't think you have a case for an RO (restraining order), but there might be laws you can pursue.
Would I move my whole family to get away from one person? That depends on, do you and/or your husband have a job wherever you want to move? Or do you two have savings that can hold you over till you two get a job?
Do you really want to uproot the entire family?
And are you 100% certain that you husband is being 100% truthful here? (sorry to cast doubt, but it is VERY uncommon that a woman lashed on to such an extent without encouragement. Though of course, it can happen). I read a story of a woman who harassed a couple because the house they bought was her "dream house". They did nothing to encourage her to be a total and utter nutcase. SO yes, it is possible that your husband did nothing wrong.
Talk it over with your husband, figure out what you BOTH want to do. And make plans accordingly.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2016): Dont listen to the other advice that suggests he did cheat. MANY people get accused of cheating even when they're innocent. Sounds like your husband needs to get boundaries by confronting this woman with some support group. You can also call the police or take the woman to court for harassment/slander charges.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (6 October 2016):
 If she's telling people that your husband and she are having an affair, then actually she HAS done something illegal (assuming that he's telling the truth).
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2016): People can have sex in under 5 minutes.... hate to put doubts into your head, but men WILL find the time if they want to. And STILL come home from work on time. If your gut is telling you something is up, moving away is not going to resolve this. Ask yourself, WHY would a random woman who has no issue with you personally start doing this? My personal take: they had an affair, she wanted more, he said no, she threatened to ruin his reputation and this is what you are now witnessing. Go to this coffee shop and dig a little without your husband. No smoke without fire....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2016): Mmmmmm. Are you SURE there is nothing going on? The "she is a psycho chick" is the classic line pulled on unsuspecting partners when some woman starts showing up and acting a la Glenn Close in that awful film about infidelity from way back. No smoke without fire.....I say you BOTH confront her....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2016): You need to get a lawyer and Sue her for slander. You are in the U.S. and there are stalking laws here....use them and have her charged. Then I think maybe he is hiding something from his wife and we have like a fatal attraction thing going on here.Ask him.
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