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Should there be a spark at the start of a relationship? Or does it grow with time?

Tagged as: Crushes, Dating, Faded love, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 October 2012) 8 Answers - (Newest, 4 November 2012)
A male Ireland age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi Aunts and Uncles

My questiom is simple Should there be a spark at the start of a relationship?

Five months in now and im just not feeling it... She tells me she loves me a lot which makes me think lots there for her....

Should i end this relationship? Am I being childish and immature or should i give it a chance?

thanks

View related questions: immature, spark

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A female reader, demeplev United States +, writes (4 November 2012):

demeplev agony auntWas there a spark and now none?

My bf of 1.5 yrs broke up with me after 6 mo cause he wasnt "feeling it".

Then after 2 wks called me crying that he made a mistake that he was worried that I felt more than he did, us girls feel emotionally faster than you guys...well turns out he was just nervous and unsure didn't want to string me along.

Just make sure you never had a spark before you break her heart and dump her.

My bf is VERY lucky I took him back.

I will be honest there will always be that sting and it did change our relationship and the stregnth of my feelings for him for a long time.

Sometimes if you break something it cannot be fixed.

Good luck.

peace and love.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (31 October 2012):

Honeypie agony auntShe will be more hurt if you stay because you are waiting for the fireworks to start - which basically mean.. you WISH she made you feel something that she is reality doesn't make you feel.

Let her down gently.

And yes, there is not a way to dump a person without someone feeling being hurt.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (31 October 2012):

person12345 agony auntI agree, there really needs to be a spark and some chemistry. If there's nothing by now, there probably never will be.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (31 October 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntDo you know how an automobile engine works?

There are THREE necessary components which must come together at the correct times in the correct quantities:

1. Fuel (gasoline or diesel), 2. Air (oxygen), and 3. A spark or other source of ignition....

A relationship has uncanny similarity to an automobile engine... ERGO.... No spark = no start!!!!

Good luck....

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks all... Tricky situation.. It seems no matter what i do she is going to get hurt...

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (31 October 2012):

kenny agony aunti personally think that there should be a spark at the beginning of a relationship, that feeling of great chemistry and butterflies and excitement. If your not feeling that after five months chances are your not going to anytime soon, maybe she's just not the one for you.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (31 October 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntIf after 5 months there is no spark.. then it's time to let go...

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (31 October 2012):

Honeypie agony auntFor me personally, there HAS to be a spark from the get go. A physical and mental attraction and just killer chemistry.

What initially attracted you to her?

Why did you start dating her?

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