A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:my cousin has just found out that the guy she is dating who is older than her has 3 children and not one like he told her and it has also come to light that he had physically abused one of his kids when they was only 3 years old for breaking a xmas present and this was in the newspaper. it was many years ago but what do you think she should do, as in should she leave the guy? he has always said that his ex would not let him see his children and bad mouthed her, my cousin has never ever seen his ex or children but she has seen a copy of the newspaper report. do you think this could be the reason that he does not see his children because of what he did in the past?
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female
reader, Ask oldersister  +, writes (11 April 2008):
 I'm sorry, poster, that you have such a clear head about things when your cousin seems to be losing her own. You are right to be worried but she has the facts and she's decided how she wants to deal with them. She has chosen to blatantly dismiss proof of domestic abuse and evidence of lies and skip into la la land with her blinders on. This must be very difficult for you but there isn't much you can do but support her as a person and not speak poorly of him or else she will rush to his defense- don't do that to yourself- it will make you crazy! If she asks what you think, tell her but without expectation or she may shut you out.
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  + ♥, writes (10 April 2008):
 I think that you should be as supportive of her as possible and help her sort out how she feels, without pressuring her one way or the other. People always remember what you have said about their rotten husband or boyfriend after they get back together again, and then You'll be the "bad guy". He did fail to mention a very important part of his background (the charge), but he out and out lied about the number of children he has, which would make most of the stuff coming out of his mouth total garbage to me. That just suggests that he's covering up the facts to manipulate her perceptions for his own reasons. Not a good bet for a long term relationship, but if her heart is all wrapped up in him, I would sweeten my words incase I had to eat any of them in the future.
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