A
male
age
36-40,
*wardson10
writes:I feel like my girlfriend is drifting away, shes away at college and i come see her a couple times a week, i do everything and anything she asks, i even help her with her homework in which i never took the classes for, so i read her text book and do the problems, you name it i do it for her. The past few months it seems like shes not herself, like something is bothering her, im afraid its because shes not happy anymore and is trying to figure out what she has to do. She never really says "i love you" anymore unless i say it first, she never sends me any messages online to read when i get home from work anymore(i send her messges all the time.), and our sex life has practically vanished.She has made a few friends at college, one of which (her best friend there) is a guy, she always hangs out with him, plays pool with him, she goes to the cafeteria with him and their friends all the time to eat, they even spent the day together one day going to a petting zoo to see all the animals together, time after time she tells me dont worry but i cant help but to, i dont think shes cheating on me but i fear that shes going to become bored or fall out of love with me and start to fall for her friend instead.What do i do or say?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009): I don't know man. I would give her full faith and credit, and if it works out, it was meant to be. I am a gay male, about to move an hour away for college, leaving my boyfriend of 3 years behind, and I am scared. I would trust her man. Shes probably just having withdrawals. She misses you
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): What I mean is, you need to draw the line. Yes, girls like it when their boyfriends are very considerate and sensitive of their feelings, but it's only fair that girls treat their boyfriends back with the same level of respect and consideration. Remember, a loving relationship is a two-way street.
I take back what I said about her developing feelings for the guy...because I don't know. She is allowed to have guy friends. I guess you'll have to trust her and love her...but at the same time communicate to her and let her know that you are there for her, but if she doesn't know how to cherish you, you're gone. However, when you do say these things, you'll actually have to mean it. You know what's best for yourself.
I sincerely hope you work things out with her.
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A
male
reader, swardson10 +, writes (29 April 2009):
swardson10 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwhat do you mean im being too nice? should i not be going out of my way for her as much?, i though girls liked guys who were like that. What should i do?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): When you do come and back, try and make friends with her guy friend, don't see him as an "enemy".Hard to do, but easy to say... however, it will be a positive thing if you can do this, it's a social skill in itself.I would do this, but never having had a partner I can't say I've ever had experience of this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): You're being TOO nice. To the point she's taking you for granted. And when you take someone for granted, you go out looking for more "interesting" or "challenges." You shouldn't be doing her homework for her. She's in college, that's her responsibility, not yours.
And yes, she might have developed some feelings for her guy friend, but that's something you and her need to communicate about. Don't be a doormat. Treat her with respect, but also, treat yourself with respect.
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