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Should I wish my ex happy birthday as I still have feelings for her

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 June 2006) 8 Answers - (Newest, 10 April 2008)
A male , anonymous writes:

Do you think I should text my ex fiance to wish her a happy birthday - even though its been several months since we have spoken and the relationship ended poorly? I still have feelings for her even though she is now with someone else...

View related questions: fiance, my ex, text

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008):

I would say NO!

keep your feelings inside of you. You will make it worse for yourself. Have been in this situation before. Forget her, if she still has feelings for you she will contact you. Ignore her.

I hope this will help

good luck man

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A female reader, bonym United Kingdom +, writes (6 June 2006):

bonym agony auntI agree with Dr Pete, its not going to cause harm by sending someone a birthday wish is it? It would be a different scenario if you were trying to get back with her while she is with somone else, but you are only wishing her happy birthday! Go on, just do it! xXx

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A male reader, Wild Thaing Canada +, writes (6 June 2006):

Wild Thaing agony auntBe sure that you understand the reason you want to send her birthday greetings. Also, you need to understand what you expect in response - I've been there before; you want a response from her.

It all sounds so analytical, but that's what we're here for and why you posted your question. You are having a tough time getting past your failed relationship, which is normal. I let a failed relationship bother me for years, but during that time I still met other people, married one, and have been with her for sixteen years and counting.

As for my ex and that relationship, I persisted in maintaining contact because initially I wanted to believe that we could be together again. In a sense we are together now because we came to realize that we have a special relationship, just not a romantic one. And after some chilly years we are very close again, just not romantically.

You can't be certain what lies ahead for you and your ex. But understand that she has moved on, and if you and your ex have a mutual desire to rebuild a relationship, you will. But it takes two, so be patient and build slowly. Finally, if you two succeed in building a relationship, it may not be what you initially expected, but it could be way better than you imagined.

Good luck and take care.

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A female reader, Smiler +, writes (6 June 2006):

Smiler agony auntHey there

absolutely sweetie text her happy birthday, as dr pete quite rightly says what have you got to loose here nothing at all, you are just showing her you are adut enough to move on and still wish her a happy birthday despite how things ended

I hope my advice helps you a little.... Good Luck! and remember if you ever need anyone to talk to or just some more advice, i'm always here for you... feel free to email me ok. Would love to hear from you again...

You Take Care Sweetie X

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A male reader, Dr T Ireland +, writes (6 June 2006):

Depends what you want to get out of it. Really ask yourself honestly why you want to send that text. If you want to make contact with her because you still have feelings then I would say no. Despite what Hollywood clap-trap movies would have us believe its almost always doesnt work if you get back with an ex-lover. This is from experience dude. If its a genuine 'let by gones be by gones' then what harm is a text going to do? But again beware, if you are sending this because you want to rekindle the flame and she doesnt respond you might feel youve been kicked in the guts. My advice: move on dude, lots of women out there and life is short, when you find the next significent one you will wonder why you spent so much time longing for something that wasnt going to happen. Its tough but possible and well worth it. Gotta be disciplined with yourself - best of luck man!

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A female reader, miss nade +, writes (6 June 2006):

miss nade agony auntIf I were you I would send her a card to wish her happy birthday. However, only if it is a genuine act of friendship and not as a means of ingratiating yourself, back into her life.

Miss Nade

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2006):


What harm could it do. Worse case scenario, she ignores you. [but secretly feels happy that you remembered her]

Better case scenario, she texts you back saying thanks and you end up meeting up and getting back together :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2006):

i think you should still text her happy birthday if you still have feelings for her. then she will see you still want to be friends and then you two might talk to each other and things could lead to more than just friends. or it all could stay just friends its all up to you and how you will act around her. but if you still ahve feelings fro her then by all means text her!

i hope i helped.

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