A
male
age
51-59,
*dpet23
writes:She lives in Philadelphia, I in New York City. We spend 1 weekend together, Fri- Sun. We had some really intense love making sessions together. We both have been single and doing without. It was obvious to me, The problem is this, she tells me that she is scared of opening herself up and letting this go where ever its meant to. However when I express certain things she either is too busy or just doesn't want to go in that direction. I made it clear that I'm not interested in just being a lover. I think she is stringing me up so I will stay around. I'm going to eventually drift away from her. She is 45, I'm 42. Should I walk now or wait and see? I don't know where to go with this. She says she doesn't know either. Is that a clue to her real intentions? I'm not all that but I have all my hair, Im not fat and I have a career. I'm no bum. Should I walk and look for another who is not so messed up. She is not a puppy anymore but despite this I get along with her so much and most important is that I like her both phisicaly.My questions are : Is she just telling me what she thinks I want to hear to keep me around?2: Should I walk now or wait and see what happensThanks in advance for the advice Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Edpet23 +, writes (16 October 2009):
Edpet23 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you rhythmandblues2 You were the only one who understood my question,the ability to comprehend is lacking on this site. You understand and you are right. She is constantly flipping, Wither way I have to step away from this, once again thank you for reaffirming my suspicion.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009): If you are two consenting adults and are on the same page about what this is for the both of you then you can do what ever you want to do.
Is it a waste of time, yes if you are looking for the real deal.
Have you asked her what she really is looking for? Perhaps she doesn't really know, maybe she isn't sure herself, it happens, so you have to just decide if you are willing to see where things lead. I mean, that is what dating someone is usually about.
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A
female
reader, kathmp  +, writes (15 October 2009):
how can you tell from a weekend of sex. after all a weekend like that is 'just' sex so your comment about love making well' its crap. At the end of the day you are an adult and capable of decisions. seems to me people who have sex like that should forget it. find someone who wants you not the sex but ensure you maintin a good sexual / love making relationship when you are in a good equal relationship, one you can work together in or in harmony. take care and find LOVE not SEX
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A
male
reader, Edpet23 +, writes (15 October 2009):
Edpet23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm going in circles with this woman. We meet on line, we spend a weekend together, we get along very well. She's 45, I'm 42 but look younger so I've been told.She lives in Philly, she owns a home there and she has a job she is happy in. I live in New York City, My questions are the following:
-Should I continue with this weekend sexual escapades
Do I prevent myself from developing anything more than just sexual?
I know its wrong to use her for one purpose but she's in heat and she wants it. I think Im being used by her, there is where my problem begins. Do I prevent myself from developing anything more than just sexual?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009): After only 1 weekend together, why don't you try sticking around to see what happens, or ask her to come visit you again? I don't know what you should do, I guess do what you want to do.
Not enough information here to tell you what she is doing or isn't doing, it is a long distance relationship though and that may be a roadblock to anything developing beyond the occassional fling.
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A
female
reader, YourDestiny11 +, writes (15 October 2009):
 Answer to question 1...i think she probably does really like you but has been hurt many times before and really is scared to get too close/attached! It does sound like, however, you have given her plenty of time and are trying to be open with her! Answer to question 2...if you really like her and think shes worth waiting for, then you should wait. You are getting older though and probably would like to settle down, if thats the case you need to talk to her, tell her how you feel and if she doesnt start opening up after that, you should probably move on! Good luck!
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