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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi, I seem to be finding myself wanting my ex back and im getting the impression that he doesnt want the same as me. Basically we split only 3 weeks ago after a 4 year relationship, nothing terrible had happened we just found ourselves drifting apart a bit and this was making both of us unhappy so we decided to end things for the moment. Basically i was under the impression that we were on a type of break to get our heads together and he told me that he was open to getting back with me if the time was right and we had any issues sorted because we didnt want to throw away the close bond we had built together. Anyway, we have been speaking regularly on the phone and have met up twice in the 3 weeks just for the afternoon and each time i have really enjoyed myself and each time my phone rings im glad to see its him calling. Now these feelings and how i feel in general have got rid of any doubts i was having before our split and i feel confident now that i want him in my life and i want to be with him in the future (im not saying we have to get back together right now i can wait) but in the long run i know its only him i want. I did at first think he felt the same as me and i felt like we were on the same page and wanted the same out of life but now hes saying half of him wants to be with me and the other half doesnt. I feel heart broken at even the thought of this but havent let on to him that its really killing me, for now i told him its ok that he doesnt know yet what he wants and that im not going anywhere. But now i feel stupid like maybe im just waiting to be seriously let down and he wont want me back. I dont know what to do, should i just cut my ties with him and leave because really after all our time together and the things we have been through together he should know what he wants and he should want to keep our special realtionship going or should i wait and hope for the best (i want to do the second but i feel a bit pathetic) I get offers from other men when i go out but im just not interested and im only 22. Any advice would be sooo much appreciated.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2006): RUN! RUN! RUN!
I firmly believe that once you break up, you shouldn't go back. Speaking from experience here.
While the reasons to be together may outweigh the bad stuff RIGHT NOW, the bad stuff always comes back. People don't change!
All the best.
A
female
reader, shortandsweet408 +, writes (23 January 2006):
 I'm going through something very similar, although me and my man were only together for a year... My advice, what has truly worked for me is to talk to HIM. Get the reassurance you need from him. I would say there is a good chance to get back together in the future if you two are still exclusive to eachother. (I can see if you would go to dinner with friends but no sexual relationship outside of you two - if you still share that) You need to set boundaries (are you friends or still lovers?) especially if you two are going to end up getting back together.
I guess I can't give too much advice without knowing the situation... Are you two seeing other people?
Do you still share a sexual relationship? (in the two days you've hung out?)
I can try to help you if I know your situation... but seriously the only two things you need to follow are:
His words...
And your heart...
Write back and let me know a little more about you guys, everything will be fine
...............................
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