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Should I use a dating agency?

Tagged as: Dating, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 June 2014) 3 Answers - (Newest, 13 June 2014)
A male United States age 41-50, *hocAndSalt writes:

I am 32, single, and had been considering using a dating agency after a friend recommended it to me (he'd met his fiancee through one!).

However, the things that concern me are twofold... cost and whether they work.

Most of my friends tend to be married, or married with children, so the dating pool is rather limited, even my colleagues mention about their weekend with the family and kids etc. (I work as a customer sales advisor for a local dealership that sells Japanese and Korean cars - not quite the same thing as a salesman, I handle consumer issues / enquiries to dealership etc. - according to where I work)

I've heard some of them run social activities as well as dating, so I guess it's a good way to make new friends as well, but the main question is, have they ever worked for you?

What I've read, many of them often mention about they intensely screen backgrounds of individuals, to prevent sex offenders, abusers etc. coming through, but would it stop, say a married individual signing up?

I have done my homework, so to speak, looking up consumer reviews etc. before spending large amounts of money

Introduction agencies (that's what many tend to call themselves) - do they work, is the basic question, and are they recommended for "professionals" (since many advertise as this) - and would I be considered a professional for their purposes, given my job?

View related questions: fiance, money

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A male reader, ChocAndSalt United States +, writes (13 June 2014):

ChocAndSalt is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I do have hobbies, classic cars namely, mainly old Chryslers, Japanese cars and Buicks and more obscure cars (remember the Plymouth Arrow and Dodge Colt? I have an old Dodge Colt as a second car!) but it tends to be so male-dominated, good for friends, again, it's mostly men and their wives involved, so, not that good, but great for a social life.

Work's stopped my social life a little bit, having to learn new product that Nissan / Infiniti launched recently, remembering the info for buyers and dealing with customer issues; taking my work home basically.

I'll admit, I'm not great at spotting the gold-diggers; I'm middle class but not super-rich.

Internet dating, ironically enough, was what my friend said is for "mail-order brides", but was he right or wrong?

Either way, thanks for your advice, lovely to hear from you!

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A male reader, RevMick United Kingdom +, writes (13 June 2014):

RevMick agony auntHi ChocAndSalt,

There is a growing use of these sites with professionals who don't have the time to date normally. They use them because they don't have the time to go out and meet people.

I would always caution against them, just for the fact that going out and meeting naturally in my opinion leads to longer relationships in general.

Consider it like ordering a takeaway from McDonald's or going out to a restaurant and ordering a slap up meal. Both will fill your tummy, but only one of them will fill your soul and senses too.

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A male reader, Mark1978 United Kingdom +, writes (13 June 2014):

Mark1978 agony auntTo be honest I didn't think they still existed in these times when internet dating is so readily available. There used to be Matramonial agencies and the like in the past, and computer dating services, but they are not prevalent these days as far as im aware.

That said, you have clearly found some in your part of the world and have done your homework. Introduction agencies use the term "professionals" as a catch all term for, basically, reasonably intelligent, employable people. "professional" is such a broad term, so I wouldn't worry too much about the terminology or whether you fit into it.

I also would be dubious about the screening. Despite the companies claims and sales spiel, such checks are expensive and theses are tough economic times. I also would be wary of how much info they can find on someone regarding sex offences and the like, as such details are usually kept off public records to avoid vigilanties and contravening human rights/data protection. Besides many sex offenders have never been convicted. Would the checks stop a married man signing up? Lets be blunt - many businesses are struggling and, with free internet dating sites so common place, I doubt these introduction agencies will delve to deeply into someone's lives as they want the profits.

Maybe others on here will have success stories to tell but I would be wary of parting with too much cash. I use internet dating on and off and have had a lot of success. However it took a long time and many, many dates before I actually met someone I clicked with in real life. My own experience of the difference between liking someone's profile, and actually meeting them in the flesh, would make me wary about paying for a service that could be protracted and frustrating.

Have you tried internet dating or meeting people through hobbies or interests? Im 36 and most of my friends are in long term relationships and or got kids. My social life dwindled as a result and I don't want to go out clubbing or to noisy bars. I work as a volunteer so don't have a great deal of spending money and the people I work with are a lot older than me. So I tried internet dating and despite a few hiccups, problem people and dodging scammers, I met a few good people and new friends too.

Mark

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