A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hello30 years ago I broke up with my fiancee when we were in our twenties. We had enjoyed 7 years together and shared lots of interests and he was a good, fun, kind, interesting and loyal boyfriend. But we had been together since our teens and, after 7 years together, both wanted to explore life and have our freedom - we always said that we had met 10 years too soon. I went off to university and left our home town while he stayed and carried on with his life.3 years ago a mutual friend got us back in touch with each other and we met up for a meal one evening. It was all very nice and we got along really well and chatted very easily.At the meal my ex said that he really really wanted to see me again, but I said no and said I also didn't think we should stay in touch. The reason for this was that, at the time, I was in an ongoing FWB situation with a man I was madly in love with, so the thought of being with anyone else was unthinkable. I didn't explain the FWB situation to my ex and he thought that I was just simply divorced and single.I did myself a favour and ended the FWB relationship nearly 2 years ago, went no contact and am emotionally free and happy. So I now feel ready to meet someoe.Over the past 6 months I have been on a few dates via internet dating sites. This had caused me think about my ex and wonder whether I made a mistake saying no 3 years ago. I wonder if I was just blinkered by the FWB situation I was in at the time and whether I should have given it a chance with my ex. He's a really good and nice man and I wonder, if I didn't know him and if I'd met him via the internet for the first time now, whether he'd be a man I'd want to go on a few dates with to so we can get to know each other better.I have considered contacting him to see if he'd like to meet up again - I'd like it to be just friends to start with as I have no real idea how I feel about him after all these years.So my question is, should I contact him and suggest we meet up?Thank you all for your help in advance.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2014): It might be a good idea to find out from that mutual friend first if this man is still available--otherwise, it could be awkward. If he is still single, I don't see what it would hurt to contact him. But don't do so unless you're serious about having a relationship with him as it could break his heart.
A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (15 September 2014):
 Yes, contact him. You have nothing to lose. Just take it steadily and see how it goes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2014): Under the circumstances as you have described them; this is only keeping in-touch with an old friend. You are hinting at "reconsidering" what you gave up when you though you had better things to do.
Don't presume he's kept his life on hold or he has romantic feelings lingering for you. Perhaps you're just an old friend. Don't get notions in your head that you can always go start-up a fire every-time you go strolling down memory lane. You put a lot of things ahead of him in the past.
Careful about creating fantasies about picking up where you left off. Reality may crush you.
Contact him if you wish. Don't presume you've always been in some special place in his heart and you can just move right in whenever you feel it's convenient.
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