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Should I tolerate my husband's infedelity so he won't leave us?

Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 January 2009) 6 Answers - (Newest, 16 January 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, *ureshot0880 writes:

Well.. I have been married to my husband for 8 years and together for 13. We began dating early and got married at 19. We have two young children. He has a relationship with another woman, it's just sex and fun. I don't want him to go and he doesn't want to. He wants to have both for awhile and we are doing good with it. Isn't it just like a mistress?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2009):

If he has your 'permission' to have a girlfriend, then surely you could have a boyfriend as well??? Why should he have all the pleasures and you have all the pain.

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A male reader, Alrich05 United States +, writes (16 January 2009):

Alrich05 agony auntIf he's not wanting to leave you ,then it's a matter of your feelings about the situation. As someone posted "most of us would have a fit." and most would. You need to really look at your feelings, and if you can really accept it , then fine.

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A female reader, sheribaby38 United States +, writes (16 January 2009):

sheribaby38 agony auntyes it is a mistress. if your okay with it good for you. most of us would have a fit.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2009):

have a little respect if your fine with it its your call but what if he brings you some kind of diease or gets some other woman pregnant for god sakes im not trying to be mean but deep down it must bother you as your asking for advise.

he has a choice give it up and stay or get out usally but now your letting him have hes cake and eat it too he wont have any respect for you if you keep allowing him to do so

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2009):

I would think a mistress is someone whom you wouldn't know about. So since you know of this woman and are ok with it then no, she's not a mistress.My question is why do you allow this? Just so he doesn't leave you? You deserve better than that. If he wants to be with other women...let him, but don't let him have his cake and eat it too...

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A female reader, kiki_24us +, writes (16 January 2009):

NO! When he married you he vowed to just be with you and he sure did not vow to have his cake and eat it to!!!! I believe that sometimes people stay married for all the wrong reasons like the biggest one for the kids and I am sure if you have a daughter you or husband would not like it if a man did that to her even if she was ok with it! Some people just need to realize that people are brought to us for a season a reason or a life time. Everything is not forever for some of us but the things that we go threw help us to become better people and lovers!!!! I dont think you should tolerate this cause how would he feel if the shoe was on the other foot and you were doing that to him!!! With all the things that are floating around in this world and people are getting pregnant by mistake why would he be willing to take a chance at messing things up with an STD or a pregnancy cause as the old saying goes the safest sex outside of your partner is NO SEX! Just ask yourself how would you feel if he got her pregnant by mistake?

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