A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met a wonderful guy off Tinder at the end of January, we had been texting constantly for 6 weeks and have been on 4 dates and we kissed on dates 3 and 4. All the dates went really well and he even said that he had a great time. After the 4th date he was less chatty and texting less regularly but we still spoke for about 2 weeks after. Then he didn't reply to my message one day and we haven't spoken now for over 2 weeks. I don't understand what's happened as it was going so well. Despite a lot of my friends saying not to, I feel very tempted to text him saying "hi, how are you" as I feel there's a chance that it may rekindle things, I know I probably shouldn't but I feel if I don't take a risk then il never know. At least if he doesn't reply then he won't be interested. Is this the right thing to do? Or should I leave it?
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female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (3 April 2016):
 I would strongly encourage you to NOT text him at all.
The fact is, if HE was interested in continuously connecting with YOU, he would, it's that simple.
He has cut all ties with you, because he has come to some sort of realisation, hence his behaviour.
He may be looking for casual sex only, nothing serious, hence his membership via Tinder.
He may have hoped to have had sex with you, very soon after meeting you, but as it's not yet happened, he's lost interest and decided to move on.
The good news is, at least you now know he's not interested in anything long term, anything deep and meaningful.
Don't ever sell yourself short, don't beg, don't grovel and don't act desperate, because this is what it will appear like, if you send another text.
He is ignoring you for a reason and you should accept this for what it is, although you're feeling quite confused by his current behaviour.
You deserve better, so do yourself the best favour and let go of him.
It's better to let go now, than to hang onto something that in reality is nothing, certainly to him anyway.
Also, i woild advise you to get off Tinder and find yourself, a more decent dating site.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, wrathykins +, writes (2 April 2016):
 2 weeks?! Forget about him! If a guy is interested, he will respond and make the effort.
Tinder is a bit of a mixed bag, with a reputation for meeting people for one night stands. I know some people have met their boyfriends/girlfriends on there but it's quite a rare occurrence.
I get the feeling he was hoping he would have slept with you by now, and has lost interest. You don't want someone like that if you're looking for a boyfriend! Don't text him!!!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 April 2016):
 There are exceptions to every rule ; the fact that female anon luckily met her perfect match on Tindr does not cancel the fact that Tindr is a hook up site, or, at best , a site for people seeking very casual dates. It's not impossible, maybe, to get a long term r/ship out of it- just not very probable.
Plus, I wonder if female anon's boyfriend started by ghosting her at the 4th date. I strongly doubt it, tbh.
I'd listen to your friends. I think you are a victim of multiple dating ( or multiple hooking up ) which is a collateral effect of internet dating. You thought you
" had " something with this guy; maybe you overrated this something that you had ,and/ or maybe it was also true, he felt some connection, only that he felt the same or better with the next girl. A case of so many women, so little time, you know.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2016): I met my bf from Tinder and we've been going strong for 10 months now! So not everyone on it is simply out for a shag.
What harm would a "Hi, how are you?" text really do? If I were in your shoes I'd just do it. Like you say, if you get no reply then you'll know for sure. If he starts talking to you again, you could always ask why he's not been in touch.
Hope things go well for you :)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (2 April 2016):
 Tindr is a "hook up" site, not a dating site. And my guess is that if you two didn't hook up (aka having casual sex) by the 4th date, he was already looking for someone who WAS willing to put out without having to go on several dates first.
Your friend are right.
BLOCK and delete his number, and If you are looking for a BF (not a f-buddy) use another dating site than Tindr.
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