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Should I text her? Or try calling later? I don't want to mess it up!

Tagged as: Crushes, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 June 2014) 4 Answers - (Newest, 18 June 2014)
A male United States age 36-40, *oboaxe writes:

I met a girl about two months ago at Wondercon and after talking to her for a bit, got her number, and asked her out about a week later.

After a couple text exchanges (with very delayed responses from her) for the next few weeks, and a missed phone call, she said she was free last Saturday, I suggested to go to the park and she agreed.

We met, had a great time talking to each other (we actually have plenty of things in common, I genuinely do like her), and we ended up walking to my apartment (which is next to the park) and made out. I said I'd like to see her again, she said she would as well, and then told me she would be free a weekend from now.

We even held hands when I walked her back to her car.

Fast forward to two days later, I gave her a call last night, she didn't answer, and then texted me this the following morning (today):

"Hey, saw you called. Sorry, I was visiting my cousins last night and didn't have my phone on me"

So I don't know if I should text back something, or try calling her again later. I like her and I don't want to mess it up by seeming too pushy or needy. I'm 26 and she is 23.

And if you are wondering why I'm so nervous, I was in the same situation about 5 months ago with another girl that I also met at a con, was bad at taking calls, and who also texted back several hours, sometimes days later. She eventually broke up with me, ironically, over the phone.

View related questions: broke up, cousin, text

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (18 June 2014):

Honeypie agony auntI'd give her one last chance (as in one last call) if she doesn't pick up, I'd move on. And if she text you the next day, just tell her that you can take a hint and you won't be calling again. (maybe more politely put then that, but that is up to you).

Nothing ventured nothing gained.

If she isn't one for you at least you will know and can stop wasting time on her and move on.

Don't see it as a "failure" because it isn't. You two weren't a good match and unfortunately SO many girls think it's "nicer" to let a guy down by wishful thinking. Basically they assume you can read their minds. Instead they should just be honest and tell a guy, I don't think we are a good fit.

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A male reader, Roboaxe United States +, writes (18 June 2014):

Roboaxe is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Roboaxe agony auntI'm all for calling. And she actually suggested we go to the beach when she was with me for our next date.

But the three times I've called since I met her, she hasn't picked up once, and texts back a day later, leading me to believe she just doesn't want to talk on the phone.

So knowing this, should I still call her?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (18 June 2014):

Honeypie agony auntI'm with olderthendirt.

PICK up the phone ASK her out (and don't make the date to your place for soe make out session). TAKE her out on DATES, get to KNOW her.

And don't ask her out without giving her 3-4 days notice. Plan something to do before calling (nothing elaborate) maybe something you both enjoy.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (17 June 2014):

olderthandirt agony auntHere's a thought, Don't text use the damn phone like it was intended. A human voice is more effective than a screen full of letters.texting has NO emotion, voice inflections are the only way to see what's going on.

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