A
female
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:On new years eve, me and my friends were all drunk. But for some reason I was more drunk than everyone, probably just because I'm a lightweight. But at some point we left the party and went outside I didn't know why (I was just following my friends) But as soon as I stepped outside, everything went straight to my head and I could barely stand up - I couldn't see or say anything I was basically asleep. We carried on walking and then one of the guys we we're with took me somewhere else. We apparently went into a park but I don't remember getting there I only remember being somewhere cold. And then he offered me a spliff and I yes because I was drunk. Then he made me lie down and he told me to take my trousers off but I didn't want to so I said it was too cold. But then he pulled down my trousers and I was really cold. And then I tried to move but I just couldn't and I hit my neck on a metal bar and I tried to stop him but I didn't have enough energy. I could feel myself sort of blacking out and then I just have flashes of memory.I remember him putting his fingers in my private area and I was crying but he was being really violent about it as if he was trying to hurt me. Then I remember him climbing on top of me and trying to have sex with me (which hurt a lot) and saying that I was too tight or something but I couldn't see I was just in pain and then he left me there.And after a few seconds I kind of stumbled up I panicked and put my trousers on and saw all of my friends in a feild close by and went over there and then he was there and he was bragging about doing stuff with me so I ran back to where I was staying and I don't remember that.I don't know whether I should tell someone or not. I feel like a little girl again, like really vunerable and quiet. But it was my fault because I shouldn't have been so drunk.And he said that I was teasing him all night but I don't remember but I do flirt with people so maybe it was my fault.What should I do? I don't wan't my parents to find out because I'm not quite 16 yet. I'm just really worried because he's tellig people that I was 'gagging for it' and stuff but I wasn't I just didn't know what was happening.I'm so much pain and I feel really sick. What should I do?And I don't know how I even got THAT drunk because I hadn't had that much and part of my thinks somebody put something in my drink because when I got back I was sick and it was black coloured - like un-dissolved coffe or soot (gross, i know)Thankyou to anyone who replies, and happy new year.
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drunk, flirt, teasing, too tight, violent Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, angelnikita  +, writes (6 January 2009):
Hey there i think you should report this monster for what he did to you straight away and not leave it any longer, how would you feel if he did this another girl maybe even worse this time i know you said you talked with a couple of friends and they probaly mean well really even if your only 16 in couple of weeks longer you leave the longest it will be harder for you, people can only advice but at the end of the day its your choice if you take there advice or not its your decision, good luck in what you decide x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2009): OMG hun that is terrible what you have been through. He is a monster and you should report him asap. You do not need to say the word NO for it to be rape. This is still rape and you have done absouletly nothing wrong. Please tell an adult in your life about this that can help you.
Sounds like you may have been spiked hun.
Really hope your ok.
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A
female
reader, *Jess* +, writes (5 January 2009):
 you DON'T have to wait until you're sixteen. the longer you wait, the less credible your story will seem, they will want to know why you waited so long before telling them.
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A
female
reader, angelnikita +, writes (4 January 2009):
Hey there sweetie yes i do definetly think you should tell some one he may try it on with some one else it was not your fault drunk or not you said no so he should not have done what he did he raped you and you shouldnt let him get away with tell your doctor first they can put you in contact with the local rape and crisis center who will also advise you and they can maybe even talk to your parents for you also and help them to understand mostly all teanegers try drink at some point but dont leave it any longer please get help the longer you leave the longer you will feel bitter dont let him be the one who left in contol take control of your own life back and let him see you not going to let him get away with it make him face up to his appaling actions i hope this helps good luck x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've been to the doctors, and taken precautions. I have some s.t.i tests at a health clinic Tomorrow and Tuesday.
I'm going to ask some advice on what to do at the clinic, because I read on a website that they are the people to talk to.
Me and mother aren't getting along well at all at the moment, I'm so close to being thown out so I don't want to risk her blaming me for the whole thing. But I have spoken to a couple friends about what happened and I'm going to wait until I'm 16 until (if) I report it.
Thank you all for your support and making me feel like it was less my fault. God bless you all.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2009): hey i no its gonna be hard for you, but this is serious
you have to tell your parents.. that dude raped you and probly drugged you before he did it.... if its bleeding, it hurts and you feel sick you need to see a doctor
and report the rape....he could go to jaill
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): You should tell it immediately to someone.
Act quickly so that the evidence won't be gone, just as a co-reader says.
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A
female
reader, *Jess* +, writes (2 January 2009):
You have to tell someone. Thats all there is to it. Even if you didn't say 'no' you still cried and he would know that it was hurting you.
Its your responisbility to tell someone, otherwise this could haunt you for years to come and then it will be too late to do anything.
Tell someone today, you have no reason not to and it will be a step towards feeling better after all this.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  + ♥, writes (2 January 2009):
 How in the world could your mother, or anyone else, think that a young man forcing himself upon you is all your fault? What will you think when you hear that he has continued to do the same things to other young girls - in part because you, and possibly others, would not register complaints?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's too late as far as saving evidence goes. I scrubbed and scrubbed at my skin to make the feeling go away, I dunno really just a skanky feeling. And my cloths we're ripped so I threw them in the bin.
My mum will blame me, trust me I know what shes like and if not me then she'll blame my friends, she'll probably set out to kill the guy and the aftershock drama will effect me more than what happened.
And one of the main reasons I don't know whether to go to the police is because I didn't actually say the word 'no' I said I'm too cold (it was like the only thing I could think about, how freezing I felt)
So maybe he thought that I meant yes when I said it's too cold. I can't believe it's actually happened, I just want to block it out. I don't want to go to sleep just incase I dream it. Everytime I close my eyes I think about how disgusting I am, I just feel so dirty.
Should I wait until I'm 16 (less than 2 weeks) And then I'm allowed to make it confidential.
Thankyou so much for making me feel like it was less my fault and giving me some advice :)
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A
female
reader, UnfinishedSymphony  +, writes (2 January 2009):
 Honey this is terrible. I am so sorry to hear this monster did this to you. Number 1. you did nothing wrong. Number 2. He is not right in the head. Number 3. He took advantage of you. Even though its fair to say drink can simply throw ones inhibitions out of the window; you said NO. End of. Sober or not, you did not give consent nor were you in a reasonable state to give consent..both of which he was fully aware of. I went through something similar to this. If you want my advise report it to the police. It will be a burden off your chest, will give that closure you need hence help you get back to everyday life quicker. Talk to close ones about it...don't keep it locked inside. I hope things get easier for you at the least honey.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (1 January 2009):
 This is wrong and you must tell someone. It is NOT your fault but if you don't tell someone this boy will do it again to another girl.
I'm in no position to lecture but really do be careful about going out so late drinking when you're so young. What you have described is exactly why daddies around the world want their little girls home by 10 ...
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A
female
reader, Gem86 +, writes (1 January 2009):
 Hi hun. Please listen to me here, you need to go straight to the police station, like right now. You have to report this. This is called rape. Please do not allow this guy to do it to anyone else.
Time is important too, as you believe you may have been spiked, so the traces of the drug (if he did spike you), will start to leave your body. I know this sounds gross, dont wash, get yourself down to the police straight away and report it to them. Please act before the evidence is gone.
I suggest you talk to your parents, look I know you were drunk right, but that doesnt mean anyone has the right to have sex with you. He took advantage of you. Nearly everyone has been drunk, I have been in a similar state before (Im an adult, and I make mistakes). None of this is your fault. Trust me on this, please please dont blame yourself. Your parents may be shocked if they didnt know you drink, but they will understand. They love you and will support you.
Please tell someone and report this. Let us know when you have done it. All the best, take care x
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A
female
reader, MuffinGirl  +, writes (1 January 2009):
 This was definitely NOT your fault! You shouldn't blame yourself, this guy took advantage on you. Maybe you were really teasing him or flirt with him, but he must not touch ed you or tryed to have sex with you without your permission. He saw that you were crying and telling him not to do what he has been doing, so he shouldn't do what he did.
I suggest you, report to police as sexual abuse or tell your parents or someone who you trust in school, which is in position of authority. You HAVE TO tell somebody what happened to you! I'm sure that no one's going to blame you for that, especially adult person. This guy is a pervert and he almost raped you. Don't let him to do that again to some other girl!
Good luck, honey.
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A
female
reader, TalkingHelps +, writes (1 January 2009):
 Tell somebody! It sounds terrible
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A
female
reader, *Jess* +, writes (1 January 2009):
You poor thing! You have to tell your parents as soon as possible hun, or at least an adult that you trust. What he did is completely wrong and you have to tell someone not only so he gets punished for what he did to you but to stop him from doing it to anyone else.
Do you think you can do that? Tell someone? You will feel so much better once you have told someone. Let us know how you get on babe, take care xx
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A
male
reader, DoubleM + ♥, writes (1 January 2009):
In my opinion, you have described a rape, or at least a sexual assault, and you should tell the authorities. You are not at fault simply for flirting or for being inebriated. He took advantage, and will do the same with others if not taught to behave.
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