A
female
age
30-35,
*ver..worried.
writes:Is it really that "bad" not telling my parents I am having sex. I am 16 years old grade 11 in september. It was the first time a few weeks ago. I just don't find any reason to tell my mom. Also my mom drives school bus and after school for 5 mins she is on her bus. So she talks to him. I feel if she knew it would be an invasion of privacy and really awkward. It feels like if I was to tell her i'd be violated... Why do people tell you to tell your parents? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010): I didn't tell my parents i was having sex but i told my littler brother - and a year after my confession, my brother came and told me of his kinky activity too :) It was nice to be able to share like that because we are close and we both knew we'd get non-judgemental ears from each other. It meant i was able to tell him the truth of first times and when he did have sex, i was there to make sure he was safe and had access to protection.
A
female
reader, lady grey  +, writes (25 July 2010):
 I debated whether or not to tell my mom when I first started having sex. We're quite close anyway but in the end I decided against it because I felt it was essentially a private matter. As long as you feel confidant you are getting the information you need regarding contraception and sexually transmitted disease there is no need to tell your mother if you prefer not to.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010): I would ask your parents about how to have safe sex, be it birth control or condoms. If you don't feel comfortable talking to them about it, go to your doctor or gyno. However, just like kissing and telling, I wouldn't have sex and tell either, including your parents, as long as you're very sure you're following the best advice on safe sex. You just want to be completely sure you don't get pregnant at that young of an age, is the important thing. That's the only thing I would be discussing with your mom. You don't have to say you're thinking of having sex really soon, either, but just in case you do, you'd like to know some safe sex pointers. If she prods you on whether you're having sex or planning to, just tell her you'd like to learn from her, that's all. If you want, tell her some of your school friends are starting to have sex, but don't tell her that you are. Just say you'd like to know, since alot of people around you are doing it. If it were me, I'd talk nothing of it to my parents, and just consult the doctor for information and advice on sex and safe sex.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (25 July 2010):
 i dont know why anyone would say to tell your parents- sex is a private thing and parents can be invasive. to be honest i have never told my mum directly about anyone i was having sex with and that seems to be the case for a lot of people i know. it ussual for parents to explain problems arising from sex such as std's, pregnancy, but to tell your parents that your having sex isn't going to really improve the situation.
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