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Should I tell my parents that I am bi-curious? They have never known about my relationship with this bi-girl

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Family, Gay relationships, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 August 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 25 October 2011)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

A semi-quick question for anybody willing to answer; I don't know if this love is true blue?

I'm going to have to explain this better for you to be able to analyze, so...I am head over heels for my best friend.

The feelings are mutual for her, as far as I can tell. Neither of our families know about the kisses we've shared, or the feelings we have for each other. Let me start from the beginning, though.

On the first day of eighth grade, I met her. We became best friends as the year went on, and by graduation, we'd become inseparable. We had a graduation party with a few other friends that weekend (the ceremony was Friday evening) and I slept cuddled..well...spooning her.

In the morning we got a few skeptical glances, but I quickly changed positions so things wouldn't be as awkward for my other friends.

Before I left, she asked me if we could hang out again. I thought nothing of it, throwing out a 'sure! why not?'. We hung out again a few weekends later, and while watching a movie, snuggled together on my couch, I kissed her. I was so scared that she didn't feel the same way about me at that point, but I thought asking her would be too awkward rather than just showing her how I felt. And do not be fooled. I'd had a growing crush on her for some time. She told me she felt the same attraction to me. It's like electric shock that travels through us whenever we come in contact with each other, not just brushing lips or hugging. The slightest touch from either of us sends shivers up our spines.

Enough about that, on with this epic post (sorry!). When freshman year began, she started spacing from me, and became close with another friend of mine. I was extremely jealous at the time, and became angry at both of them. The three of us got into a huge fight (mind you, they didn't understand why I was upset; I never told them specifically why, because I didn't want anyone except the two of us to know about the 'thing' we had/still have) and we didn't talk to each other for the remainder of that year. Then, a week after my birthday, she texted me, and apologized over and over for how she'd acted. I forgave her, though I was still slightly skeptical.

Just recently, however, I went to her house for a sleepover. We kissed, again, made out, the whole bit. She tells me she broke up with her boyfriend tonight, and she needs me there. I love her with everything I have, and I feel that she does too. I feel like I can trust her again, and now, with anything.

Is there a verdict? Or is there no label for this confusing crush/ intimate friendship thing? Also, should I tell my parents? I've not told them a word of what my friend and I have done, and I know I'm taking advantage of their trust when we fool around at sleepovers, I feel horrid for doing that. I need to learn to control the automatic pull I feel whenever I'm around her. I have a decent grip on it now, but it could be better. Restated; should I tell my parents that I am bi curious?

View related questions: best friend, broke up, crush, jealous, text

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A female reader, chocogirl United Kingdom +, writes (25 October 2011):

i'm in sort of a similar situation, except i'm almost positive i'm bi. i'm around your age, and i'm not planning on telling my parents about my sexuality for a few more years, because i really just want to explore my sexuality right now and i'm also worried they won't let me be alone with girls as much or let me have crazy sleepovers if they knew. i'd recommend taking that into consideration.

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A male reader, pagan1 United States +, writes (2 September 2011):

Why do you have to tell your parents anything, today most 13-15 yo of child baring age have the same sexual feelings as a 20yo, however our closed minded society and AOC laws say you cannot have these feelings so your not sopposed to show it

telling your parents at this time is putting a labal on your self without even having any experiance, like girls saying they are a lesbian but never had an experiance, its silly, however its natural and normal for a girl to be attracted to another girl especially one you trust its normal to enjoy her soft kisses her touch her female scent and oral taste it feels like your in love, but you need to realize sex is not love, any animal can have sex and enjoy it, and you can love sex, but sex is not love. its about trust and feeling close to each other, and i know its fun to kiss the minuet your alone or slip your hand in her panties and play especially when you know she wants it to.

just because she tried a boy and they broke up dosent mean she only likes girls, im sure if a boy came along you would want to be intimate with him if he liked you, or if your G/F found a nice guy she would start going with him,

but thats no reason to be jealous, if you both found guys to enjoy being with or even sexually their is no reason you two girls could not continue with your relationship, but you dont have to broadcast it and tell everyone! and maybe your girlfriend doesent want you to tell everyone to

ever think about that? chances are you will end up with a boy, Openminded Bisexual girls are the best partner a man can have so enjoy your time together with your girlfriend

but dont label yourself, and nobody needs to know, and if you both get boyfriends if you just drop all the stupid jealousy, you and her will be intimate friends forever.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2011):

I personnally think that you are SO brave for posting this, i am slightly bi curious aswell i suppose so i know where youre coming from :) I think that you need to make sure that your relationship is going to work out before you tell your parents. Also talk to your crush about telling parents because if your parents are good friends, if one of you tells your parents its more than likely that they will ring up and tell the other girl's parent blah blah blah until boom! big mess. So my advice would be to tell your parents at the same time. Not nesicerily together (both sets of parents together when youi spill) but maybe on the same day or something. Hope this helps xx

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