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Should I tell my FWB I'm talking to someone else?

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends with Benefits<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 February 2014) 6 Answers - (Newest, 28 February 2014)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Should I tell my FWB that I'm taking to somebody else? It's not sexual with the other person, but it is something I see turning into a relationship with.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2014):

I'd drop you like a bad habit if I were the new guy and found you were sleeping with someone while we were "talking". Even if it was years down the line.

Your FWB doesn't really have anything to do with this, it would only be if you were sexual with another person that he would need to know so he could make sure there was no slip ups when it came to safe sex.

I'd have a serious problem with you having an FWB right up until you decided we should be together though, I wouldn't trust a woman who can't let go of one man before she has another lined up. The entire relationship I'd wonder whether you're lining up another guy to leave me.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (28 February 2014):

YouWish agony auntI agree with the others. If this guy you're talking to is relationship material, then you need to end the arrangement with the FWB, and then end contact with the FWB before your first official date with this guy you're talking to.

Do not keep the FWB in your life as a friend while seeing a new guy. It's not cool to have male friends with prior sexual arrangements still involved in your life when you have a new relationship anymore than if a guy had a sex buddy he kept in his life while dating you. That's untenable baggage.

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A female reader, oldbag United Kingdom +, writes (28 February 2014):

oldbag agony auntYou don't owe either guy an explanation.

The FWB is merely a friend for sex, (unless your emotionally involved with him and want him to react to the new guy by asking to date you properly) - you have no need to tell him anything do you?

FWB as a rule go nowhere beyond sex, sooo, if its a relationship your after then focus on #2 and become relationship material.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2014):

Agree with the other aunts. You should be more worried about how to handle telling the new guy about the FWB than vice versa.

By not sleeping with the new guy even while you are developing things, you are leading him to believe you don't sleep with guys casually. But you do sleep with people casually. You just won't do it with him. That would make me write you off for a girlfriend possibility if I was him.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (27 February 2014):

Honeypie agony auntI agree with iAmHereToHelpYou

If you are looking to POTENTIALLY date guy #2, you should end the FWB arrangement.

Does guy #2 know about the FBW guy?

As the "rules" goes with FWB - it's as casual as it can get. You owe him no explanation (unless you agreed on exclusivity).

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (27 February 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntyou don't owe the FWB anything but if they were a FRIEND wb vs a F wBENEFITS, it would be that you wanted to tell your friend. IF you don't want to tell the guy you are sleeping with about your new potential boyfriend, then maybe he's not a friend and you should stop sleeping with him anyway.

If you are seeking a relationship with a new fellow.. probably better to end the FWB before you start dating this new guy...

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