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Should I tell my cousin I love him, or make him fall in love with me?

Tagged as: Crushes, Family, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 April 2013) 2 Answers - (Newest, 30 April 2013)
A female India age 26-29, *oya660 writes:

im a teenager, im in love with my cousin but he dosent know that. i want him to be my life partner. their family is so close to me. i tried hard to forget him, but unable to do it. i am unable to avoid him. when i see him my heart beat increases and i feel so happy when talks to me.

sometimes i feel he too likes me, but sometimes i feel he take as his sister.

so what should i do to make him love me?

shall i start attracting, flirting with him or shall i say him directly that i love him?

View related questions: cousin, flirt

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A female reader, maisy1 United Kingdom +, writes (30 April 2013):

Lets look at the points you made one by one OP...

" i want him to be my life partner" your 16 or 17! How can you possibly know what you want from the rest of your life when you are so young and inexperienced? You may feel really grown up now OP but when you get to your 20s you'll realize how young you were at 16/17. To say that you want someone to be your life partner right now is very niave and foolish as your still a child and have a lot to learn about love, life and the world around you. What you want NOW is not the same as what (or who) you will want when you get a bit older.

"what should i do to make him love me?" You cannot make someone love you OP. I'm sorry if that's not what you want to hear but its impossible. Life is hard, with many disappointments and set backs that we have to learn to deal with, and this is one of those times i'm afraid. You cannot make someone love you and that's why you have to move on.

"when i see him my heart beat increases and i feel so happy when talks to me." Your young and inexperienced - we all have those feelings for someone at your age and its often with someone we cannot have such as a school teacher, a cousin or friend of a parent. Its just a crush which WILL pass.

"shall i start attracting, flirting with him or shall i say him directly that i love him?" Neither! flirting with your cousin is likely to cause embarrassment and family problems on a large scale. Telling him you love him out of the blue is likely to end in a LOT of awkwardness and him avoiding you.

"sometimes i feel he too likes me, but sometimes i feel he take as his sister." He likes you as a cousin. Nothing more and nothing less. He is being polite, nice to you and paying you attention because he is a family member not because he fancies you. It so important to learnt he difference. A lot of girls your age have MAJOR crushes on their teacher because its the first time a grown man has paid them attention and made them feel that he understands their feelings. The girl mistakes that professional curtousy and interest in their studies as love or shared feelings.

If you declare "love" to your cousin its so likely to cause major upset and embarrassment. Plus your aunt and uncle (his parent) will split you up, think your being silly for having a childish crush and he will feel awful.

You have to move on from this, yes its hard but your at an age now where you have to learn to deal with these things as hard as it is.

Good Luck x

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A female reader, Dear Mandy United Kingdom +, writes (30 April 2013):

Dear Mandy agony auntHI

I am not sure what the law is in your country, but in mine ( UK ) it's not legal. And not to mention that this is your aunts son! it would NOT be right to be with him. It could cause many family arguments and even break the family up. BUT if in your country its excepted then just tell him how you feel and go from there.

Mandy x

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