A
female
age
18-21,
*ennayyyCx3
writes:I'm dating this wonderful guy, but i think i may be falling for his friend? The guy i'm dating loves me so much and i love him, but i think i'm developing a crush on his friend..is that normal? Like his friend is a pot head but we have a lot of things in common (besides that) so i dont know if its that big of a deal. I tell my boyfriend basicly everything, i told him i thought the guy was hot, but should i tell him that i have a crush? I dont think i would ever date him, but i kind of just want attention from him..so is it a big deal?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2008): Hey, I think people are being a bit harsh here. Me and my boyfriend are also very close, we love each other so much. But then I still find myself getting crushes on his mates. At first I was worried but, to be honest, the crushes always sort of fade away after a few weeks, whereas my love for my boyfriend doesn't. It's probably just that you want something you can't have - if you split up with your boyfriend, I doubt you would feel as attracted to his friend. It doesn't make you an evil person, as you can't choose who you're attracted to. At least you admit to it!
Don't do anything rash - wait a while and see if you still feel the same way. You'll probably wake up one day and wonder why you were ever interested in the pothead guy.
A
female
reader, JennayyyCx3 +, writes (21 September 2008):
JennayyyCx3 is verified as being by the original poster of the question ohh yeah and plus i even do that with girls..like if i see a girl who is less popular than me or has a weaker personality than me i will try to get her jealous of me. So i really dont understand my reasoning for doing that type of stuff. I have a high self esteem about my body, but not my personality..so that prolly has something to do with it. But is this worth breaking up with a guy i love and who understands that about me and loves me just the same? I dont think so. Trust me i feel horrible now..even though it may not be as bad as cheating on him, but i still feel like i betrayed him in a way. But it is also good cause now when i think of the guy im just like "yuckkk" cause i dont want that to come in between me and my boyfriend. I really do know that im not the most mature person out there when it comes to relationships but i really am trying to get that out of my life..any advice on how to do that?
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A
female
reader, JennayyyCx3 +, writes (21 September 2008):
JennayyyCx3 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy boyfriend and i do tell eachother everything, you may not believe that but we do. He tells me when he thinks a girl is good looking so i dont have to be like "Oh that girls pretty..i wonder if he thinks shes hott" And i do the same for him. And i actually told him about the boy thing last night even before i read your replys. I used to do that "attention getting" before we dated but more unconsciously done. Like i would want to see if they would like me, then if they did i would lose interest right away. So i dont know what my problem is with that cause i wasnt like that with my boyfriend now.
When i told him he was kind of upset but he was actually happy that i told him because as he said "Most girls would just hide that and never tell their boyfriends" The problem with the guy im "going after" is that i will get hints he likes me then sometimes he will ignore me and that makes me want to try harder..if he didnt..i could honestly say that i wouldnt be interested in him right now. But even though i can unconsciously do that sometimes, it was brought to my attention because i didnt understand why i was trying so hard to get a guy to like me when i would never date him. So yeah i guess thats not a good thing to play with peoples emotions, but you have to understand that ive been doing that since the 6th grade. Its a bad habit i shall have to crush. So yea...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2008): don't lead your boyfriend on if you are confused. Don't play with peoples emotions, extremely cruel. Either tell him or have a break to find out what you want. If u dont want to hurt your boyfriend and think you could still be together. Dont tell him but have a break and find yourself and the needs you want. Key - think realistically who is best for you. Don't be a heart breaker.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2008): Grow up. I don't think it really matters if you tell your boyfriend you have a crush on his friend since I doubt the two of you will be together in a year from now anyway. If your relationship with your boyfriend was that important to you you wouldn't be eying his friend.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2008): I think it is a big deal. It says more about you than it does your man or your crush. You should reflect on why you are want attention from someone that is a "pot head" instead of your loving boyfriend. I think that sometimes people throw away great boyfriends/girlfriends because they have a low self esteem and they would rather be with a loser because they think that is all they deserve.
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