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Should I tell my best guy friend how I feel? He has a girlfriend

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Question - (28 November 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 28 November 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Should I tell one of my best guy friends how I feel about him, even if he has a girlfriend? See this guy and I are co workers. We became best friends pretty much as soon he started working with me eight months ago. The thing is we never hung out outside of work functions. We always tried to make plans and he always flakes out on me. He has had an on and off relationship with the same girl for a long time and perhaps that would have been to awkward for us to hang out. Well anyway, we have always been able to tell each other everything including our deepest darkest secrets that we never told anyone else. We know each other better than anyone. We are always able to talk to each other which makes me think i might be able to reveal my feelings for him. He's not happy with his girlfriend. He tells everyone that she makes him miserable and he doesn't know why he's with her. Should I tell him and make it clear that I would never want to interfere with his relationship with his girlfriend and that I wouldn't make it awkward at work. Do you think I should tell him how I feel because he's my best friend or is it too risky because he has a girlfriend and we work together?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2010):

I am/was caught up in the same predicament but I am a male and not a female.

From my experience as the best guy friend, nice guy, doormat, or whatever other apt term I have come to describe myself...men have a difficult time dropping their emotional fronts and confiding in the other sex - unless we have crossed that bound of casual friend into someone who we could truly be ourselves with. So in that sense, that you have been able to be so honest with one another is definitely a good sign.

Realistically though, I have to speak of the doubts that I guess would enter anyones mind. You both know each other to well that the initial mystery and excitement of every relationship is pretty much gone. You are great friends and you work together.

In the end you have to realize that life is short. It sounds as though you know deep down what you really want to do. Moreover, that if you don't do it now then you will just torment yourself for weeks, months, if not years. Eventually your feelings will get out but it could be to late to do anything about it. Know that if anything goes wrong that the consequences are yours to bear but also know that perhaps it was meant to be and that this was THE moment in which you could change your life forever.

I'll be honest that I typed this response up a 5 minute rush and that the above might not be coherent. If you need the quick answer to your question: DO IT.

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