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Should I tell him this hot sexy guy wants to take me out for Valentine's Day to make him stop being so cold?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Faded love, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 February 2014) 6 Answers - (Newest, 13 February 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

What should I do, boyfriend is breaking my heart.?

My boyfriend and I usually argue about little things but this time I was really hurt and when we argued I was really angry and said he doesn't deserve me.

I felt really bad and apologised to him. He keeps ignoring me I miss him so much my heart is aching and I can't stop crying. He doesn't ring me anymore and when I ring me we talk for like 1minute and he'll make an excuse to get off the phone. and he said we are not over. But it feels like we are:(

I'm sick and tired of this treatment from him. It really hurts. I cried on the phone to him last night.

There's this sexy guy who likes me and wants to take me out valentines day.

Should I tell my bf this? Maybe it wil make him stop being so cold. We haven't even talked about valentines day and is tomorrow.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2014):

Doing something vindictive certainly isn't a good way to patch things up.

Using other people and putting them in the middle of your relationship drama is unfair. The guy probably likes you, and he really shouldn't be used as a weapon. He'll get a very bad impression of you, and he'll treat you accordingly.

Your boyfriend is trying use the silent-treatment as a means to upset you. That's psychological manipulation and passive-aggressive behavior to freak you out. It isn't good to cry for people. It makes you look pathetic. Crying is what children do to manipulate adults.

You can survive a Valentine's Day without your boyfriend.

Take the time to do something for yourself; and decide if you really ought to just dump the jerk. He knows this is killing you, and that is cruel. Downright nasty.

Stop crying over someone who doesn't care. Grow up and learn how to dump guys that aren't into you.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (13 February 2014):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntI say go out with this "new" guy on Valentine's Day... and don't say anything about it to "boyfriend."

If/when he asks where you were, what you were doing... tell him you were busy... It's really none of HIS business... is it????

Good luck...

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (13 February 2014):

Fatherly Advice agony auntNo that is not the right course. and just going out with the other guy would be just as bad. Why? You are in mid breakup. He is manipulating you. You want to manipulate him. The other guy isn't even on your emotional radar. He's just a pretty pair of pants. If you date him it would be the cruel use of a rebound.

The advice so far is great, solve this one first, put your foot down and don't put up with emotional abuse.

FA

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (13 February 2014):

Honeypie agony auntI agree with CaringGuy it would more the likely backfire.

Personally, I think you need to STOP catering to your BF, if he doesn't want to talk and doesn't want to end it, then YOU decide how much more of this semi-silent treatment you are willing to accept.

He will not magically stop being cold because you have a HOT & sexy suitor, he will more then likely think that you are already cheating on him.

I would let him get a few days of no communications and see if he gets back to you, if he doesn't then I would call on day 3 and tell him it's over.

Once it's OVER and you feel OVER him (give it a good 6 months) then MAYBE you can think about going out with mr. hot & sexy.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2014):

No. you need to not be childish like that.

Instead, tell him what you'd like to do tomorrow with HIM.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (13 February 2014):

I don't think you telling him that another guy wants to take you out will make him suddenly care about you. Most likely, it will just backfire, and you'll find yourself being treated even more badly. I think what you really need to now do is sit down and think about whether this relationship is working properly for you. From your post, it just seems like this is over. And even if it's not, it probably should be. You deserve better than to be treated this way.

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